A day like no other

The turkey is in its bath of brine.
The onions and celery are chopped for dressing.
The salad dressing is made and the recipes are all printed out.

Perhaps the day will come when this all seems like second nature. But for some reason, especially this year, I am feeling very out of place -- even in my own kitchen.

As it is after midnight, today is officially November 22. Mom, you would have been 65 today and we would have spent this past evening out to dinner at a lovely restaurant, celebrating your birthday and discussing all the preparations to be done for the joyous holiday that is to be tonight. Thanksgiving was always a very special holiday to you, and therefore to me, and this year it seems even more poignant, as it falls on your birthday.

The tears that flow at this hour are no longer from the onions, rather they are from a heart that is broken again that you are not here to complete the tradition that we so solemnly set forth to create. Thanksgiving was a day of thanks, for sure, but more than that, it was our day. I promise, while I will hold your memory near and dear, I will not sully it by making anything less than a fabulous holiday fete for all who join us.

As usual, we will be with family. Ken and I have forged a family unit as one that I am so proud of and thankful for. Ken's folks will be here, as will be a few close friends and a few "strays" who I just felt needed a place to land. Gee, I wonder where I learned that generosity of spirit.

Dad was going to join us, but due to some health issues, we all felt the drive was not in his best interest. We will see him next week and celebrate with him at that point.

I am going to sleep now, and will, no doubt, dream of happy Thanksgivings we shared and of course, all that there are still to be. When I wake, I will remember all the things I am most thankful for. But right now, at this moment, the only thing I see in front of me are my tears and a picture of you.

I love you Mom. Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Birthday!

Here it comes...

This week has been active and busy as we start to prep for the onslaught of holidays that are heading our way. My Dad will be with us for Thanksgiving this year. It is his first time with me for the holiday, as Turkey day was always my Mom's holiday with me. I think I am nervous. First of all, he has never stayed with me before and is actually staying with me and Ken. Secondly, he has never had my cooking before. While I know I am a good cook, it is still a little unnerving. Finally, my Mom's birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year. She would have been 65 and I am already feeling a little blue about not getting to celebrate her very favorite days on the same day with her. You know? I do not want my sadness to overshadow my joy for sharing the holiday with my Dad, but at the same time, I do not want the joy of sharing it with my Dad to take away from the memories I celebrate with and of my Mom. I hope this makes sense. I mean, I know the logic of it all, but...

PS: Let's give this Q and A thing another go

Q: What is the farthest you have traveled to celebrate the holidays?

A: For me, personally, I have not ever had to travel very far. In College I had to drive from Fresno (Central CA) to Los Angeles and in my adult life, it has been pretty much the same. From Vegas to LA is only about 4.5 hours, and that is as far as I have had to go. Unlike my husband, who has had to do tons of traveling for the holidays. Hopefully, he will share some of his adventures with you all.