Adjusting

So, we did the gym thing this morning, and as Loo pointed out, it was a good thing to have done and out of the way before we started the rest of our day. What a day it was! I think we are incapable of down time. We keep trying to "de-plan" our weekends, but it just does not work. Like the gym, I suppose this is a good thing. Nice that we have things to do, places to go and time to do them... But... BUT... Hell there is no but -- it just is what it is.

I am finding, as you will read, that making a life with someone takes all sorts of adjustments. As we hung out with Ken's buddies today, at 2 separate bars, I was reminded of that. We had a great time, let me just say that before I say anything else. Ken's friends have all really turned out to be very cool, and eclectic. Just like MINE! That's what was striking me though. We were out with his friends, just hanging out. It was really neat-o. I mean, no time pressures, no rules, no demands... Just hanging.

I was saddened a little, though at the thought that I do not do this with my friends any more. But then I thought about the fact that we never really DID do that. Hanging at bars is not my "thing"and save for a few dinner parties, when I got/get together with my friends, 9 times out of 10, there is a purpose, a plan or something that has to get done. Right there is where it hit me. I love Ken and the time we spend together, but as we were heading into the 3rd and 4th hour of hanging out at these bars, all of a sudden I was struck with thoughts of all the "things" I could be doing. I could be blogging, doing laundry, talking to someone on the phone, etc. But then at the end of it all, those were things I would be doing without Ken. NOT an option. So I am here writing to you, the internet highwaymen and women... How do you make the changes and adjustments without losing yourself. How do you become a part of someone else's reality without betraying your own. I am guessing that this is something that comes with time. AND, I am guessing that a lot of it has to do with the person you are sharing and changing with. Additionally, I am thinking that is not a big deal that today happened or that we did what we did. We did it, after all, after hanging with my best friend and going to look at the house with which we are both in love.

My guess is that I am thinking this one to death because I have not perseverated on anything in a long time, well long enough, and it is just one way to avoid the reality that I AM adjusting and making the changes, without losing myself -- more or less. See, sometimes all you have to do is type things out to come to the right conclusions and to realize that you are making these changes with the right person. (gag! sigh... How sweet... Ugh!) No more musings about this kind of stuff... more about life in general... I think.