Overthinking

Addictions

2011-07-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

For some people it is illegal substances (crack). For some people it is legal, but illicit (cheating). For some people it is consumed (booze) . For some people it is observed (porn). And finally, for some people, it is plugge in (internet).

Addictions -- they come in various packages and have differing levels of complete domination.

I have watched my husband get increasingly addicted to being connected to the world around us. Wether it is through Twitter, Facebook, email, newfeeds and now Google Plus -- he must be connected. I swear, I think he white knuckles it when he has no signal or worse yet, when I take the device away (just to be cute).

I too struggle with my own addictions, though, so I must be careful -- those in glass houses and all... But I digress, my post is not about Ken's addiction to the internet (and no Kate Monster, it is not just for porn). This post is about the latest in a string of my addictions.

While I do not smoke, drink or do drugs, I DO play. First it was Tumble Bees on Pogo.com. It is a super fun word game and a great way to work out my brain and pass time. Then came all the other games on the site -- Oh My Goodness! It may not be Call of Duty, but let me tell you, the little strategy games and puzzle games on this site had me from the get go.

I have since moved on -- fickle is me, you know. Once on Facebook, I was doomed. I left behind my Pogo and started playing the games on FB. Bejeweled -- oh my how you mesmerize. I played for hours on end, without even knowing it. The plink plink of the matches and the ex[plosions with the colorful graphics. How could you NOT?

Well, I have found a new addiction -- sorry Bejeweled. Angry Birds and Words with Friends are my crack and my iPhone is my pipe. To be lost in this place where the toughest decisions are which bird to send crashing into a brick wall, and should I use the double word or tripple letter tiles?

In a world where there are bills to pay, work to do and people to whome we must answer, it is so nice to just be lost, to get consumed in the nothingness. I love playing 2 tiles and getting 40 points, or hitting the pig at just the right angle and watching it implode.

I am sure there will be new games and opportunities out there soon, but for now, I am enjoying this addiction one finger tap at a time.

What are your addictions?

I'm Baaaaaaack

2011-03-04T21:05:00.001-08:00

I am back, and of course, overthinking EVERYTHING.

It is so easy to get caught up in all the minutia of the everyday. When last I typed my life was a very different picture than it is today.

I was a stay at home wife working on selling my Mom's collectibles, and making my merry way along -- going to the gym, taking care of myself and Ken and living the Happily Everafter.

Today, I am a Director of Quality Improvement for a small hospital, working 10-12 hour days and barely keeping my head above water. What happened?

The last two years have been eventful to say the least.

I got a new job followed by a promotion, was diagnosed with and survived cancer (seriously, I am fine -- clear almost 2 years), went to Hawaii for our 4th wedding anniversary, had my Dad move in with us, and, and , and... Oh yeah, can't forget that we have started the adoption process. I will most likely set up a separate blog for the adoption thing -- but I PROMISE if you do not ask me about it, I will keep you all updated.

In the past few weeks, Ken has started up the collectibles thing again, so you can look for lulubarlow.com and ebay stuff announcements again too. I think we have decided that the $$$ for storage could be so much better spent somewhere else!

Now, back to my overthinking...
I need an outlet -- bottled up stress can be a killer. If I have followers it will make me happy and if I do not, well, it will bum me out, but I will survive to type another day. I will make efforts to be witty and charming, but bottom line is that my overthinking will be a source of ideas, randomness and, well, the rest is to be determined.

Introducing Ms. Lulu Barlow

2008-12-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

There once was a woman, Lulu Barlow. She was an amazing woman; smart, funny. charming and vivacious! Lulu never met a stranger, and if she did, they were not a stranger for long. She had a zest for life, enjoying dancing, music, good food and an occasional white water rafting adventure.

Sounds like a cool chick, huh?

Lulu also had a passion for collecting, ummm, things. Lots and lots of things. Dolls, nick knacks, chachkis (sp?) stuffed animals -- she really had no prejudices. If it was collectible, she collected it. In fact, she collected enough to amass a collection large enough to occupy the entire inside of an 1800 sq ft house. The goodies she collected often substituted for friends socializing.

As gregarious as Lulu was, she sadly lacked the social life that she so totally craved. As a result, she found plenty of ways to fill that void. Delivery people were friends, phone operators were acquaintances, and dolls, oh the dolls -- they were her kids and grand kids.

While this may sound sad, really it was not. She lived every minute as if it were her last and when she left this earth, she did it with little regret.

Now... Lulu left behind this collection of treasures. I have been charged with said collection and its disposal, liquidation and disbursment. To reach this end, I have opened an eBay store, Lulu Barlow Collectibles and am in the midst of developing a website -- lulubarlow.com. You can take a look and see what Lulu has to offer and what tricks she has up her sleeve. New items are posted regularly. This way, not only is the collection being taken care of, but it gives us the opportunity to share Lulu with so many people. A piece of her was in each piece she collected, and now she can be with each person who has a part of the lot.

At last, Lulu Barlow is having the social life she wanted and the adventures of a lifetime.

A new chapter...

2008-11-30T20:19:00.000-08:00

There is more to come, but I will give you this as a tasty tidbit and glimpse into what will be coming!

Gobble Gobble

2008-11-27T10:03:00.000-08:00

I have been a slacker, I know. No posts in way way too long. I will post an update soon, I promise; cause trust me, I have plenty to talk about! In the meantime, it is Thanksgiving and I needed to do my annual why am I thankful post...

First and foremost I am thankful for my family -- KEN , that has you at the top of the list. I never in my whole life thought I really would end up married to my best friend. But here I am and here you are. You have given me a new sence of the word family and what it means. ALl the rest of the relations are included here too -- Dad, In-Laws, nieces and nephews (the older 19 already! and newer 6 weeks), aunts, uncles and cousins -- you get it, the whole kit and caboodle.

I am thankful that my mom was my mom. She is gone now and it makes me sad on a regular basis, but I am thankful that i had her for as long as I did and that she imparted to me the importance of this holiday and spending it with loved ones.

I am also thankful for all of the people in my life that make up my extended family -- my/our friends, their kids and all their families that fill in the gaps. Friends as family rules!

While I am desperately seeking a job, I am thankful to be in this position. It means that I got to take the time off of work that I needed to put my life back together after a very very rough patch. And I am thankful for the rough patch, cause it taught me to appreciate the smooth times.

I am thankful for the fact that even though the economy is killing us all and things seem like a long dark tunnel, that I have a roof over my head and food to put on my table, and people in our lives to have sit at that table with us. Oh! And eBay, VERY thankful for eBay, as I am finally selling all of my mom's collectibles.

I am thankful for my health -- yes I saiad my health. As not perfect as it is, is as bad as it could be. I am thankful for what I have -- including all ten of my digits in tact, even though I seem to be hellbent on changing that.

I am thankful for Facebook! I have found so many people from past parts of my life that i am so happy to get to know all over again. What a hoot this has been!

And finally, I am thankful for you, dear readers. You keep coming back no matter how long I disapear and you give me a sounding board for random and various other rants. Thanks.

I hope you and yours all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and the start of a beautiful holiday season!

Quoteable Fridays

2008-09-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
-- John Cage (American avant-garde composer, 1912-1992)

There is so much to be taken from this one that I will let you all take a go at it first, and respond in kind. But how appropriate it is at this time in our lives, our society and our world...

Hope everyone had a great week and that the weekend will be much enjoyed by all.

Quoteable Fridays

2008-08-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary
-- Aaron Rose

I think the important part of this quote is the "at the right time". When my world provides me with drama and uncertainty, I am finding that it is helpful to just kind of sit back -- not in apathy, but in the faith that in the end, everything works out the way it is supposed to. While I may not like the outcomes at the immediate moment, I am finding solace in knowing that when I look back, with just the right perspective, it all happened/happens for a reason. And in that reason, it becomes the perfect thing to have happened at the time, and for that reason it is extraordinary. Sometimes the sunset or sunrise of a new day provides that "right light."

People are not Disposable

2008-08-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

I have often said that we live in a disposable society. We throw away everything -- from clothing and shoes to furniture and household goods. Nothing is made with the quality it once was, and if it is, you can bet you are going to pay a VERY pretty penny for it.

We tend to throw away people too. Whether it be because they are old, handicapped, have upset us or our gentle sens abilities, or whatever the reason, we throw people away, end relationships, drop from our lives, ignore, etc.

The sermon in temple a few weeks ago was that we should listen to the rambling stories of our elders, as they have meaning. These are people who have life experiences that they are sharing and we should listen, because these are people, not tape recorders that are to be shut off and put away somewhere. PEOPLE. Listen to them, the Rabbi said, they are not to be thrown away.

That sermon simply reaffirmed my belief that we do indeed throw people away. To drive the point even further home... We were at church yesterday and there was a woman with her, I assume, husband in a wheelchair. He was frail and I am not sure what was wrong, other than he was in a wheelchair. At one point in the service, the priest tells you to offer peace and good wishes to those in the seats around you -- part of community building. Well, not one person extended their hand to this man. Not one! They extended the offer to his wife, but not to him. So I crossed the aisle walked over and extended my hand. He reached out in return and we offered each other peace. Only after that did only one other person reach out to him.

A few moments later when people were walking in the aisles to go receive communion, the woman was having difficulty maneuvering the wheelchair. Again, people just stood there and watched. It was not until I crossed the aisle again to assist her that others finally took action as well.

I am not meaning to be preachy, but this is ridiculous. We need to remember that people are flesh and bone and whether we see the quality in them or not, they are not to be discarded with the trash or put up for give away on Craig's List.

Any thoughts?

New Traditions

2008-08-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

I have decided to follow in the steps of Lora and Joe and start a weekly post. As in on a specific day of every week, I will put up a specific type of post. Lora does her "What's on my iPod", Joe does "E Fridays" and sometimes "Video Mondays."

Welcome to Quotable Fridays. There is much to be learned and taken from things said by others. So as we head into what is sure to be a busy weekend for everyone I give you...

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone
-- Lin Yutang

Gentle reader, before you head into a crazy weekend, be sure to stop and smell the roses, kiss your little ones or just enjoy an extra 15 minutes of sleep. It will still be there to get done tomorrow.

Not for the faint of heart, or anyone in a rush

2008-08-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

This is one of those posts that is purely an indulgence. I am not looking for comments or reactions, but I needed to write this, and it is long.

Earlier this summer my best friend's mother passed away -- suddenly. While it was a no-brainer for me to drop things and be there for her and her family, it came at a personal cost. As I held her hand and hugged her, helped make phone calls and attended all the sad events that accompanied this tragedy, I was reliving my own mother's death minute by minute, partially because my own mother's death seems so recent, and also because I loved her Mom as a surrogate of sorts.

Each of us deals with life differently. No two deaths are alike, nor are our reactions. So as I watched my friend muttle through this and continue to see her depressed self make valiant efforts to move forward with daily activities, I kind of got caught up in her and her grief and helping in any way I could think of. My own grief resurfaced, but waited in the wings, as it had to do when my own mom first passed away.

I cannot remember the time after my Mom's death. I recall moments and major events, but nothing like day to day life. Upon discussing this with Ken, we realized that it was because I came back from my "burying" my mom to go back to work, face surgery of my own, and plan a wedding -- all within 2 months. Then life kind of took over... I blogged about my mom a few times, and it was painfully clear that I was sad and missing her. I do not think that I miss her more or less than anyone misses their mother when they go, but again, I think we all deal with it in our own ways.

To this day, I pull out all the love notes she sent me and left for me in hiding places to re-read them and smile. I love recalling wonderful childhood memories with her, and realizing now what an amazing job she did raising me. I can with clarity look back on her life, our life, and see where I lost my Mom to mental illness and where I just plain ol' lost my Mom.

People think of my relationship with her as acrimonius. And at times it was. We fought horribly and said mean and hurtful things to one another. She made intense and unrealistic demands on me and I continuously let her down, even on the small stuff and witheld my empathy in an attempt to separate myself from her. I was mean. But when it is all said and done, she was my Mom and I loved her more than I will ever be able to explain or maybe even understand, and I know she loved me.

I ache for her in a way that I cannot describe and wish in my truest of hearts that I could take away the pain that my friend is feeling. I wish that because I know the pain all too well. Maybe not the exact pain and in the exact way, but clos enough that I know I want to take it away from her. But then again, I wish I could take it away from myself.

Tuesday, Aug 19 will be two years ago that Leni K, my own personal Lulu Barlow, left this Earth. I take solace in the hope that she is in a better place and no longer in pain. That she is the Mom that I knew and loved and called my best friend, not because I had to, but because I really wanted to. I cannot tell you what I would give to have the phone ring and hear her voice on the other end or smell her perfume. I would gladly be late going somewhere so she could find just the right piece of jewelry to match the trim of her shirt or the right shade of lipstick. I would happily take a motherly check up call when I am not feeling my best.

As tomorrow approaches, the logical side of me notes that it is just another day and I should just move forward. But though it has been two years, it may as well have been yesterday. My heart phyiscally hurts and I just want to bring her back.

I am finally makign my way through her things and liquidating what I can in an attempt to just lessen the load so to speak. But as I do this, I cannot help but feel liKE I am liquidating parts of her. SO I am writing this tonight to tell her...

MOM, I LOVE YOU. I ALWAYS DID AND I ALWAYS WILL. I AM NOT GETTING RID OF YOU BY GETTING RID OF THESE THINGS, AS THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE, THINGS. THEY ARE NOT YOUR LOVE, YOUR HEART, YOUR COMPASSION. THEY DO NOT HAVE YOUR WISDOM OR YOUR CARE AND THEY DO NOT COMFORT ME WHEN I WANT MY MOMMY. THEY DO NOT HAVE YOUR TOUCH, YOUR SMELL OR YOUR LOVE. THEY ARE NOTHING COMAPRED TO MEMORIES AND LOVE I HOLD FROM YOU IN MY HEART.

THORNDYKE AND ROSEBUD ARE DOING FINE AND HAVE BECOME A PART OF OUR FAMILY. KEN IS AMAZING AND CONTINUES TO TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME AND LOVE ME THE WAY YOU WANTED ME TO BE LOVED. IT ALL WORKS OUT IN THE END, AFTERALL, DOESN'T IT? I JUST WISH YOU WERE HERE TO SEE IT ALL, IN LIVING COLOR.

I LOVE YOU, TO THE MOON AND BACK.

School Days

2008-08-14T07:30:00.000-07:00

Wen I was a kid, elementary school age, I was one of those weird kids who loved school. I mean I LOVED it. It was where I was happiest -- not because of a bad home, but because I was around people and there was always something going on. And it is odd that I loved school so much, because, frankly, I had no friends.
I was the fat kid, so no one wanted to be my friend. The boys picked on me, and it was not because they liked me, and the girls giggled and pointed at me. Not the best, huh? But I loved school anyway.

I could not wait for summer vacations to be over so I could go back. Something about the chalkboards and newsprint prelined paper that I loved. I loved getting my new lists of spelling words every week and seeing where my cubby box would be. Oh the excitement of it all.

What I never thought about was my surroundings, though. How did my classroom get so cool -- who put the books out, who arranged the desks, who made sure there were cubby holes and who labeled them with our names. I never thought about things like who was grading our papers, or when was it being done or how it was determined what I would learn, how I would learn it or when I would learn it and in what order.

Now I am older and I have several friends who are teachers and I see first hand what goes into the start of the school year. It is still about cool school supplies and nifty things that excite me, but there is so much more.

I spent a few hours with Teri at her classroom yesterday putting bulletin boards together, hooking up computers and general getting the classroom ready. Teri will be back there again today and probably tomorrow getting the room set up to give off the right vibe and be as condusive to teaching and learning as possible.

I was amazed at how much work she put into it and will continue to put into it. Now, on one hand, I know Teri is a perfectionist, but on the other hand, it is a lot of work, no matter who you are. Teachers rock. Period, end of story -- Brett Favre is a Diva and Teachers Rock!

It is appaling to me, more and more, how little we pay our teachers and how little education is revered in this country. We have enough money to destroy and rebuild a foreign country, but not pay our teachers an appropriate and competitive salary. Ugh!

If you haev a kid in school, or know a teacher, applaud them, love them and help them. Offer time to help make copies, offer to donate supplies (which teachers pay for themselves!) or offer to help out in the classroom.

I loved school as a kid, but as an adult, I love teachers!

This is so long it could be a sermon...

2008-08-06T15:23:00.001-07:00

Referencing Ken's last post on religion shopping. Forgive the flippant reference to researching various religions. That really is what we are doing though, we are shopping for a religion that we will "buy" to give as a gift to our future children and family.

That is what a religious background is, I believe. It is a gift. It is a gift for so many reasons. It is something that a child does not have unless someone reaches out and offers it to them. It is something that you can hold in your heart and refer to, look to, share, enjoy, and grow with. It is a gift in that not everyone gets it, nor does everyone appreciate it for its truest beauty. Like any other gift, it has various forms and values and different value at different ages and times in one's life. Like a Barbie doll as a gift at the age of 7 vs. 17. The 7-year old will enjoy it much more (hypothetically speaking)and get more out of it than would the older teenager.

As a baby, infant, toddler or child, one cannot freely choose what religion they will be, what they will believe or what kind of person they are going to be on their own. While we can say that we want to give our children the freedom to make these very important choices and take a back seat and expose them to nothing in any formal or organized manner, the fact remains that if they are exposed to nothing, then how can they make a choice. There must be something for them to choose from in order for that to happen.

While Ken and I were raised very differently, religiously and otherwise, we find that our values and ideals are very much in tact and in common. We both feel like it is important to give our children a strong root system from which to grow; a loving home, a sense of self and a religious identity -- a place to find some sense of spirituality, develop a moral base, grow into a community and encourage the ideal of being a basically good human being.

Neither of us feel that religion is the only place to get the good person thing -- I mean that is what we are for as parents, no? But, we both agree that some sense of a religious or spiritual background would be a great benefit to our children and therefore our family.

We have been going to church on and off for the entire time we have been together -- that is my compromise as he is an active Catholic and I am a not so active Jew. But now that we are at a point where we need to make a firm decision, I am finding that I am more in touch with my Jewish roots than I thought I would be. I was not raised with any kind of a formal religious education, though I was definitely raised to understand that I AM JEWISH. It is more of an ethniciy and culture to me than merely a religion. It is ingrained in my being and who I identify myself as. And frankly, I am surprised that I have had such a strong reaction to all of this.

The logical side of me thought we would raise our children with a Cathlic religious base and simply expose them to the cultural and traditional sides of Judaism; considering our varied backgrounds. However, and you knew there would be a however, the emotional side of me is throwing a hissy fit and not relinquishing on this decision. So shopping we are going.

We have met with a priest or two and a rabbi and are going to various houses of worship to see where we both feel some level of comfort. Because through all of this, we are confident in our decsion that neither of us will convert or step away from our own religion -- we will share in the whole process and be a part of whichever community we decide to choose as a family, and hold on to our individual beliefs and traditions.

Here is the thing... I go to church and feel nothing. I go, I listen, I observe and I take it all in and I still feel nothing. This makes me sad. Until...

We went to temple last Friday night. I loved it! I felt comfortable, I felt connected and I felt community. I felt uplifted, and informed and comforted. I understood the sermon with ease, and walked away feeling invigorated. Now, I am not sure if it is because I am Jewish and that is how I think I should feel or if it s just that I really felt a connection here. All I know is that I enjoyed it and we are going again this week. We will continue to go to church as well; but I know I am looking forward to going back to temple.

I am sure there will be more on this later. But for now -- please share your thoughts on any part of this small novella.

PS! I must give it to the catholics at Christ the King church -- after watching the 3 baptisms, I want to baptise our babies! (bad Amy, bad bad Amy)

Back...

2008-08-04T07:08:00.000-07:00

As my Blog title will tell you, I am an Overthinker. Thus, I have been struggling for weeks, nearly months, trying to figure out what to talk about. There are so many things and yet not so much. Ok, that is a lie, there ARE so many htings. There is a lot going on in my life (our life) and I have made quite a few observations about our world that are worthy of sharing btu I just could not figure out where to start.

We saw my family back in June for my cousin's wedding reception. It was lovely. Great to see everyone and spend the time with my Dad. But the thing that tripped me up on that trip was that I mentioned to my cousins (T&J)that both Ken and I had blogs. They were both very surprised; but not in an oh-that's-cool-way. More like a what-on-Earth-do-you-have-to-say-worth-blogging way. While I think they are the cat's meow and definitely fit in to the cool kids bracket, I think they are so much in that bracket that they do not realize that there are a lot of us out here who blog about "stuff". While my blog is not a one trick pony that focuses on one thing, it is definitly a blog that gets me thinking, and frankly, if it gets me thinking, then that should be enough.

So here it is. I am back in the blogging world. I will be back with a fervor because there really is a lot to talk about -- to you, or no one. But it is stuff worth putting out there. Ya never know. I think this will be the start of a new era... I may actually find a direction and stick with it. Whoa! Scary huh?

Topics to look forward to in the coming days: Harmony Kingdom Colletibles, Collectibles in general, Selling stuff on eBay, religion shopping, Temple Sermon, Church baptism, The Passing of one's mother, what it means to be friends, family of every kind, societal lables, gas prices, politics in general... see the list goes on.

Tune back in for something worth reading -- because I think it is worth writing.

Maybe I will send T&J invites to my blog.

Pack Rats of the World Unite

2008-06-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

I have no problem throwing things away. (STOP LAUGHING!)
Papers sitting on my desk -- garbage
Receipts in my wallet -- garbage
Extra buttons that come with clothes -- garbage
Ken's socks with holes or stained shirts -- garbage
Bad photos of myself -- garbage
Leftovers that neither of us are eating -- garbage

See? I CAN throw things away, and do so very often!

BUT... yes, you knew there would be a but, I just cannot seem to clean out my closet and throw or donate things away. I cleaned out my shoe tree 2 times last year and again today. The shoes are all sitting in a box. I get phone calls from various charitable organizations daily. Yet, I still cannot bring myself to get rid of this overflowing box o' shoes.

The same thing goes with Ken's clothes that he has shrunk out of. I have a pile of jeans just sitting there and cannot bring myself to box or bag them up and ship them out. And don't even get me started on the clothes in the guest room closet -- a lot of those were my Mom's. I am not in such a hurry to dump those.

Do any of you have the same issues? I mean really? I have shirts in my closet from high school and college. They still fit, or fit again, and I just cannot bring myself to get rid of them. I know that my friend Lora is cringing as she reads this, as she is the QUEEN of discarding. But I just cannot seem to do this one thing. Get rid of clothes and shoes. What is the one thing you just cannot part with?

AND -- do you wanna come help me get this monkey off my back?

A Mish Mash

2008-05-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

People who do not stop for ambulances or fire trucks that are trying to cross an intersection, and in fact speed up, should be shot -- or at the very least ticketed. There, that is my soap box for today.

On a happier note, we spent a chunk of today with Lora for her daughter's 4th birthday party. The fact that I did not run from there screaming, rather thought about how cute each of the kids were and what stage each of them was at in development (even the teens) and such tells me that I may very well be ready to be very serious about adoption. I mean, it was not that long ago that a situation like today would have been nothing more than birth control for me; but this was really a wonderful occasion. Maddy was priceless as she opened her presents: "Awesome!" " OH! How ADORABLE!" "WOW! Look at THIS!" All with such enthusiasm. Totally made my heart smile. One very cute little girl with a very big personality.

After we indulged in pizza and birthday cake, we went to the gym, much to my chagrin. I have definitely been off the wagon when it comes to eating and exercising, and I have not been doing it as much or as well as I should be. Well I bitched and moaned the whole drive there, but ya know what? It was a great work out. I actually lifted weights with Ken and did some cardio as well. I think doing it with Ken made it all better and totally worth it! (Thanks Honey for "making" me go.)

Finally, before I go on to finish this weekend that is turning out great, I must brag... My husband, wonderful husband and friend that he is, took me on a date last night. We went to dinner and then to see SEX AND THE CITY! OMG! It was so great! Kinda like a full season crammed into a movie, but it was wonderful. While most people were there with their girlfriends, I got to go with Ken. It was really cool. He is my best friend and I cannot imagine having such a great evening with anyone else. Ken watched the show when it was on (yes, he has a chick side) so he knew all the references and history and was able to enjoy it with me. We actually had conversation after the flick to discuss the story and characters and such. I cannot tell you enough how much I enjoyed myself. Now, that I have seen it, though, I am ready to see it a second time with a girlfriend or two. Just so I can pay better attention to details.

Now I am off to wash my workout off and go to dinner at PF Chang's with my best friend, Ken.

Image is EVERYTHING

2008-05-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

I understand that image is important. And I understand that when you have somewhere to go, you want to get there. Ken will be the first to tell you that I get seriously annoyed when someone is driving too slow, too irratic, too whatever... But tonight took the cake.

Picture it if you will... it is 9:00 on a Wed night and we are driving North on Decatur, stop and go traffic no less. For those of you not local, it is merely a main thoroughfare. So we are driving North and there is a car manically weaving in and out of traffic. Much like I am sure I do when I am in a hurry. But now I must draw a better visual for you...

Red
Convertible Camero (top down)
Man, early 40s
MULLET!

I nearly died. Had to share the visual and the tale. Funny thing is that I think Ken and I each passed him by (we were in separate cars). Crazy, I tell you. Only in Vegas -- or backwoods West Virginia!

Defined

2008-05-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

in·er·tia
Pronunciation[in-ur-shuh, i-nur-] –noun
1. inertness, esp. with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.
2. Physics. a. the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force. b. an analogous property of a force: electric inertia.
3. Medicine/Medical. lack of activity, esp. as applied to a uterus during childbirth when its contractions have decreased or stopped.

Resistance is futile... Inertia has set in. Blah Blah Blah

The Question...

2008-05-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

A comment on my last post finally asked the question that no one has asked before -- which has always surprised me. I suppose the reason for that is that most of the people who read my blog know the answer, but for those of you who do not know, I will answer the question, "Where does the name NewYtKeds come from and what is that about?"

Do you have a favorite thing, item of clothing or just a favorite go-to thing that makes you smile, no matter what? Well, I do. It is a pair of brand new white Keds tennis shoes. The plain ol' crisp white, go anywhere, do anything, go with anything white tennies.

As an adolescent and young adult I lived in them -- the cheap knock offs, the real deals, you name it, I wore them. In fact, at one point, my goal in life (sad but true) was to be "wealthy" enough to afford a brand new pair once a month! Talk about a habit. They were at their best when brand new, no dirt or marking, just brand new and perfect. Like a clean slate for my feet. Though my favorite way to wear them was with a pair of worn jeans, a red t-shirt and white ankle socks (the white or red baseball cap was optional) I wore them with jeans and pearls, I wore them with shorts and t-shirts, sweats, dresses, everything.

Something about the perfection of a new pair of white Keds is pure bliss for me -- well it was.

Sad as it is, I can no longer wear them. My feet are so damaged and jacked up with tendinitis, heel spurs and stuff that wearing them for any length of time leaves my feet, legs, knees and back aching and begging for mercy I even bought the stretchy leather ones with the hopes that if I wore my orthodics with them, it would help. Alas, it did not. So I have a pair of what will always be a new pair of white Keds in my shoe rack -- for posterity.

But they are still my signature item and my happy "thing". There ya have it... my wacky addiction to the simplest of all footwear.

Now tell me, what is your go-to happy thing?

VACATION!

2008-05-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

(Enjoy the pictures!)

Hi Everyone! We are back and well rundown -- isn't that always how you come back from a vacation? Needing a vacation?

Florida beckoned us, back in December. Actually, it was the Hilton that beckoned. They offered us a deal on a room that we could not refuse, so I bought it and it had to be used! We figured that both of us have family there -- Ken's Dad's side (uncle and 3 out of 4 cousins) and my sister, nieces and nephew (and great nephew!), so it would be a great trip to take. I will post all the family pics and more about the visit in total later. Right now, this is all about the House of the Mouse!

Part of the deal from Hilton was buy one get one passes for one of the parks. Since we figured we can go to Disneyland pretty much any time we want (sorry Kyria), we would go to Epcot. I had never been there, and it is a park more Ken's speed. It is not too many rides, but lots of learning and ambiance.

Friday of our trip was the day for fun! My friend Lynn came down to Orlando from Apopka (about 40 minutes north) and played with us at Epcot all day. It was so fun! I felt like a kid all over again. The thing I always enjoyed about Disney is that it is not just about the rides or the event, it is about the surroundings and the details. I was not disappointed. One lady even told me that they place garbage cans every 20 steps, cause "Walt figured people throw it away at 25 steps."

This trip was no different. They were in the midst of their Spring flower and garden festival, so there were flowers and plants and topiaries everywhere. It was unreal! I took on the role of total tourist and took pictures at every turn. I even helped others in need of help with photos -- you know, when you need someone to take a picture so you can both/all be in the shot. Well, I am all too happy to help with that. Ken got annoyed (as you will see in the pics) but it had to be done. This is Disney after all -- the happiest place on earth!

We had so much fun on this trip. I felt like I was reminded why I love Ken so much -- we got to really play together at Disney and re-experience the feeling of dating (even if Lynn was there).

I was so tired by the end of the day. I thought for sure I was going to dye -- but no such "luck." It was great exercise and thanks to a little sunscreen, neither of us got sunburned.

You will notice my last photo is of Chick-Fil-A... Oh! My! God! If you have never had it , you must go get it! If you have had it, I know you understand my giddiness at the flavors and delight that is a chicken sandwich!

So, how was your last week?

Some respect PLEASE

2008-04-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

* before I go on and on, let me just say that this is not directed at anyone in particular and I hope I do not offend anyone...

We went to church yesterday. Now, let me remind you that I am Jewish; maybe not in the full blown religious way, but definitely in culture and heritage. But since hubby is Catholic, I go to church with him from time to time to be supportive. Well, that and, frankly, the sermons (homilies) are sometimes very insightful and give me lots to think about. But I digress from the purpose behind this post. A purpose which is to say, is it so freaking hard to dress in accordance to ones activities? Is it so difficult to honor the places we go with the respect of dressing appropriately for these places?

I know... we live in Vegas and everything is more casual here. But can we get realistic for a minute... Shorts and an "I Love New York" t-shirt to church? Jeans and a backless shirt with last night's make-up sitting in the front row? A Credence Clearwater Revisited concert t-shirt? A dress that is obviously not intended for daytime wearing, accompanied by shoes that are of the same ilk. I mean I know I am coming off as very judgemental here, but I really find that I am offended by the casual nature of our society as a whole.

While church was an obvious example, there have been plenty of other times that I can point out. There was the lady at PF Chang's one night who looked like she had just come in from cleaning out her garage -- seriously -- in mismatched clothes that were ill-fitting and completely inappropriate for a restaurant like PF Chang's; McDonald's maybe, but not PF CHang's. At first I thought she was just there to pick up a to-go order. In her purple t-shirt material shorts that were obviously a size or two too small, old t-shirt with stains all over it and hair that had barely been pulled into a ponytail she was actually there to have dinner. At 6:30 on a Saturday night no less.

Again, I know this sounds judgemental of me, and well, it is. But I am OK with that. There is something to be said for respecting yourself and the people you are around enough to be appropriate. No one is saying put on heels and a prom dress, but come on, at least something that resembles something.

A show on The Strip, tickets $100 or more, deserves something more than a beach cover-up or cutoffs. If you can plunk the cash for the show, then put on some clothes!

Now, going back to church -- back in "the day" people got dressed up for church, you know "Sunday Best" and all that. I am not suggesting that we have to go back to that; but seriously, if you can put effort in to dress appropriately or nicely for work, doesn't God deserve at least that? (OK, that sounded too preachy, even for me!)But you get my point?

My Leash

2008-04-10T08:51:00.001-07:00

I have been pondering this for a while, and am finally at a place where I can put it down on "paper" and share it... I feel like my cell phone has become a leash, or rather, a noose around my neck.

As a woman, I typically carry a purse. My cell phone, therefore, goes into said purse. While I have seen several of my friends appear to have supersonic hearing, I apparently do not . I cannot hear it most of the time when it rings in my purse. Also, I tend to leave my purse in my car when it is in the garage at home. So sometimes, I just forget to grab the phone to take it in the house.

Now none of this would be an issue, except for the problem. The problem being that as a society we have become so accustomed to being able to reach anyone at any time. Cell phones have replaced land lines for a lot of people in their homes and as a matter of habit, cell phones are the first number dialed by default. We all figure that while we can call a home number, the chances of reaching our intended callee are better by dialing a cell number. After all, it is portable and will be with them at all times, right?

WRONG! I get hassled by so many people; my father, my husband, my friends... about "well, I called your cell, but you never answer it." That simply is not true. I do answer it -- when I hear it or when it is convenient. Cell phones are meant to be a convenience, are they not? If I do not answer it, it may be because it simply is not a good time to take a call, or because I simply did not hear it. Yes, there is caller ID, but that dos not mean that I see its you and choose to ignore you. It means that I know you called when I look at the screen again.

I am a bit of a hypocrite, I will admit. When I call someone on their cell, though it is usually after calling their home line, I get frustrated when they do not answer. So again, I claim the problem is a bigger one than the individual. The problem at hand is that we have become so accustomed to having 24/7 access to everyone. We have leashed ourselves.

I have gone as far as to purposefully left my phone at home -- it is so refreshing and freeing. Have you ever done this? What are your thoughts on the leash? Is there a happy medium possible? Ugh! the phone is ringing (talk about timing), my leash is being pulled...

Dreamin'

2008-04-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

I had the wackiest dream! No, really, it was REALLY wacky...

Let's start with the basic fact that Ken and I are going to be adopting our children (A process we are starting this week) because I have health risks that make pregnancy very dangerous for me. Not impossible, but life-threatening. So we are going to adopt and that will be a post all on its own. Ken is Catholic and I am Jewish. We both have fair skin, dark hair and medium eyes. These are facts you needed to know to understand the absurdity of my dream.

Dream: I am at a store or someplace like that with a friend of mine who is visably pregnant. We are talking and I, rather nonchalantly, announce, "I'm pregnant, by the way." A brief conversation pursues and over the course of said conversation my stomach expands and I am now visably with child. THen, just as suddenly as I have a baby belly, my frined says, "oh my, I think I am going into labor!"

With that , we are in the delivery room and she is breathing as you breath when birthing and my water breaks. Weird, I know. SO a bunch of stuff goes on wit hthe doctors, and by the end of it all, i am in a room with Ken and we are coming up wit hbaby names. We decide on Michelle Ilene. Then just as we are leaving the hospital with our blond haired, blue eyed baby girl, we decide she does not look like a michlle ilene. We make them change the birth certificate and we now have baby no name.

Next "scene" I am driving in the car with my baby girl, still a very baby baby,sitting in her car seat, which I have set up wrong. (This does not bode well!) Anyway, she is cooing and gurgleing and I say, trying to interact, "What was that? Tell me all about it."

"Goo goo, blah blah, gurggle, gurggle JesusChristisourlordandsaviourhediedonthecrossforoursinsthetimetorepentisnow." Clear as a bell and all in one breath as if it were one word. I freak, grab the baby and ask her to repeat it. She coos a little and then clear as a bell, bold faced staring at me says, "JesusChristisourlordandsaviourhediedonthecrossforoursinsthetimetorepentisnow."

I try to get her back in her seat, but a car is pulling up behind me, so I grab her into my lap, a la Britney, and take off...

How is THAT for a dream!? You have any good ones to share with me?

A day, THE day, in the life...

2008-03-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

All's well on the Western front -- that is a saying somewhere isn't it? Well, I hope so, because it is the fact today.

I am pretty much over the illness that plagued my last week or so. All my money is back in the bank. Ken has new job opportunities on the horizon. I am coming closer to a decision on what I want to do when I "grow up" -- I even went to the Culinary Institute to a look-see today! Life is good... And then. Duhn Duhn DUHN....

Ken's birthday is tomorrow (or today, depending on when you read this) Now THAT is a reason to celebrate! I posted more on it on our blog. But it will be a great weekend in total!

Birthday hi jinks and basketball watching all day on Saturday followed by a wonderfully festive Easter celebration on Sunday -- 13 people for dinner! If you want to join us too, just let me know! There will be plenty of food, and I think we may even set up the dining table on the back patio, weather permitting.

How about you? What are your big weekend plans, other than stopping by ken's blog to wish him a Happy Birthday(subtlety was never my strong suit)?

Happy Spring celebrating!

Updates (hack hack)

2008-03-14T17:06:00.001-07:00

I filed fraud charges with the bank and all nearly $900 has been replaced into my account! Yay!

But the hits keep on coming... Once I was over the fraud shock, I spent the majority of the week fighting a "chest cold." In the midst of it, I refused to go to the doctor, but still managed to run a blood drive. Las Vegas has 49 more units of blood thanks to my fabulous donors and my work.

In the meantime, I ended up at the doctor this morning. It is official -- I'm sick. Bronchitis, a double ear infection and my throat is somehow infected to top it all off. I am now on antibiotics, 3 inhalers, steroids, decongestants, allergy meds and a cough suppressant. That does it -- I want Ice Cream. And I want it NOW...

Keds, you had a message...

2008-03-09T17:09:00.000-07:00

So we get home from our most recent trip to LA today. Yes, we were there again. It was a relatively pleasant trip -- met the new tenant in my childhood house, spent some really good time with my Dad and saw some of our favorite friends. Sounds great, right?

Well, I am unpacking upon our return and Ken says, "Hey Keds, you got a call while we were gone."

"Oh yeah? From???"

"Visa Fraud division, they want you to call them back about your account and some questionable activity."

"Oh, that must be why the card got declined at CVS yesterday. No biggie, probably just because I used it a bunch in LA on Friday. Hand me the phone, I will call them back."

duh duh duhhhhhhhhh...

Turns out they were calling me because some lowlife, skeezball, whack job decided to use MY debit card to make a $797 purchase on ebay! Since I am with the credit union, I cannot do anything until tomorrow morning, and they cancelled my card for protection. My favorite card. The card I use so much that I do not even need to use the card itself as I have the numbers all memorized, along with the security code on the back. To say I am freaked out might be an understatement.

The best part, you see, is that all my bills are set to pay tomorrow. Only, now there is not enough money in the account to cover everything. That is in part thanks to a slacker tenant in my townhouse who has trouble paying rent on time, and now thanks to this jack a$$!

I am counting to 3 and breathing deeply. Wish me luck tomorrow, oh, and welcome home...

YAWN

2008-03-02T06:31:00.000-08:00

Why am I up and blogging at this hour on a cool, windy, snuggly Sunday morning while my husband slumbers? I have no idea, none at all; and am none all too pleased with it. But, nonetheless, I am here.

Good Morning and Happy Sunday to you all.

Forget Hope

2008-02-17T21:16:00.000-08:00

So we all know that Hope Floats. It was a cheesy movie with Sandra Bullock and Harry Conick Jr,. Pure fluff. I loved it anyway. But I digress. That is not the reason for the post; this is:

FAT FLOATS! I never put two and two together, but it is true, fat floats. Whether it is oil floating in water or my body in the hot tub, it is true -- it floats.

Ken and I bought a great hot tub last year. Only, at the time, I was not thinking it was so great. We did not know I had diabetes, and I got so overheated in it that I hated it. Not just disliked, but fervently hated it. Upon getting out of it after the first time, I told Ken, "Send it back! I hate this thing and never want to be near it again."

Well, we figured out why I hated it and got that problem fixed. My next complaint about it was now that it was too big. "I can't sit still in it," I exclaimed as I floated all around. Well, duh! It is because fat floats!

I put it all together the other day and decided to test my theory tonight. Not that I am no longer fat, but I am no longer that fat. I was right! Fat floats! Now that I have significantly less fat on my body guess what? Go ahead guess???

I was able to sit in the hot tub and enjoy it. We bought the thing nearly a year ago, and tonight was the first time I can say that i enjoyed it. In fact, I loved it. My muscles hurt, and it soothed them. I was able to sit there and let the jets work my back and feet until I was putty.

Yay. Need I say it again? Fat Floats!

Let's get Physical (sing it with me... )

2008-02-13T21:07:00.000-08:00

First things first -- I hit a goal of mine tonight. I took, and finished, a full one-hour spin class with Ken at the gym. A full one hour class riding bikes at crazy tempos with varied resistances. I did it. Me. The fat girl. Can you believe it? I know! Me neither! It was one of my mid-range goals when I started Sparkpeople. And now it has been achieved. Yay me!

Now, for my rant, err, ummm, I mean post ...
Going to the gym as much as I do, I have made some observations that I would like to share with you all.

1. No, you do NOT look good with your boobs that much bigger than the rest of your body; and wearing the tiniest possible tank top/sports bra does nothing to help the situation. Nor does the orange glow of your skin. Repeat after me, "step away from the tanning bed..."

2. Is wearing a full face of makeup really a necessity when going to a place where the main objective is to sweat? I think not. Go wash your face!

3. Yes, I really can smell you from all the way over there. If you are going to a place where you will be sweating, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE take the two seconds to put on a fresh coat of deoderant, or do not sit on the bike next to me and raise your arms up to stretch. Please!

4. I realize that the point of the gym is to get in shape. But there are a lot of us that go there to get into shape. I too would like to look kinda cute or at least not feel like a dorm freshman in my grungies when I work out. Is it too much to ask that the makers of fitness clothes make them in sizes that might actually fit those of us that are at the gym 5 days a week? I mean it! If you can fit into most of the stuff they sell there, chances are that you do not need to be there and you already have your fair share of cute clothes. Give a girl a break!

5. I am sure there are more but this will work for a first rant. Now back to success stories.

Since October I have dropped more than 20 pounds of pure fat (sick, huh?) which equals about 4% body fat, 1 inch from my upper arm, 5.75 inches from my chest (sorry Ken), 4.75 inches from my waist, 4.5 inches from my hips, and 2 inches from my thigh. How about them apples?!?!?

I am now going to ice my seat region in an attempt to recover from the bike seat and the damage it did in my cycling class. That was just not right.

When I grow up...

2008-02-10T18:28:00.000-08:00

What do I want to be when I grow up? Any ideas? I have a ton of them, and they all sound good. I think I am paralyzed with some sort of fear as to what I am going to do.

I have toyed with a retail business that combines my Mom's collectibles with a small cafe, a degree in nutrition/Registered Dietician to allow me to help others with food related health issues take control of their lives, a culinary arts degree to allow me to cook for others- healthy or not, events/party planning, etc., the list keeps growing.

I know that whatever I finally decide on, I will be successful. It is just getting myself motivated to do it. Do I really want ot change career fields at this point in my life? Starting from scratch on the food chain? If I make the right choice my hope is that none of it will matter. I will be doing something I love and that will make everything worth it. Do what you love; love what you do.

I know that I want to work with people. I want to make a difference and I want to be an authority in the field I choose. I want to be the go-to person, the consumate professional and the person that people look to to make it all work. Do you know what I mean?

I guess the thing is that at this point in my life I have come to terms with who I am, what I am good at and what I am not so good at (a different post), and what I strive for. I am someone who seeks other's approval for a sense of my success. I just have to figure out what I am going to do to get to that place.

I am open to suggestions and ideas and input, so feel free :-)

So Much

2008-01-28T19:20:00.001-08:00

I keep trying to come up with fun and interesting Blog topics, and have actually come up with a few really good ones. In the meantime, though, life keeps moving along and things come up. I don't blog about my fun topics, then a reality or update topic urges me to actually sit down and type. So here is the update, and it is a good one, and some fun topical conversation. I hope all is well with you and yours and I look forward to a more steady flow of frivolity.

1. My birthday (1/13) was different this year, in a good way. It was the first time I was not working at all on or around my birthday, so it was a little lower key than I am used to. I think I could get used to this. It was so lovely -- dinner at my favorite restaurant (Samba, meat heaven) with some of my most favorite friends, pancake breakfast, a nap and a movie (Juno was awesome, go see it)! Ken and I had a quiet dinner at one of our special date night places (Bob Taylor's Ranch House) but saved the real celebrating for this past weekend in LA. My quieter version of a birthday was just delightful, meaningful and sweet -- Yay birthdays!

2. We reclaimed Los Angeles! After a little over a year of traveling to and from LA for business purposes, we both felt the need to reclaim the city as we have several friends and my family there. To accomplish this reclaimation, Ken bought me theater tickets for Christmas and my Birthday. We chose to stay at a different hotel than our little place in the Valley, and then on Saturday went to see The Color Purple followed by Wicked Saturday night. It was awesome! We got to town Friday afternoon Aden walked around Universal City City walk (at Universal Studios), met Mitch and Samantha for dinner at an interesting Tapas restaurant (another blog posting in and of itself)and then called it a night. Saturday was all about the theater. The shows were outstanding. I did not think I could love the theater any more than I already do, but I was wrong. The bug has re-bitten me and I cannot wait to make another trip in for a show. We exited the theater after Wicked to a thunderous downpour. I was immediately reminded why I wil not live in LA again -- traffic is crazy, and then some. Sunday was a nice quick breakfast with my Dad at one of the many LA area delicatessans and then off to home. Yay home!

3. While in LA a couple of interesting things happened. Aside from great time with Ken, the topper came with a call from the realator who is handling my Mom's house for me. She got an aplication. Looks like we may actually get the house rented out, sooner than later. I could K'fell!Will keep you posted.

4. I am sick. Ugh! I finally got my annual upper respiratory infection. I used to get a bunch of them every year, but lately it has been once a year. It is that time and a hacking I will go.

Bad food is sooooooo good. As I have been feeling less than 100%, I am using it as an excuse, a really bad excuse, but an excuse nonetheless to indulge in some very favorite foods. I forgot how good a doughnut can be! Not because it is Dunkin' Donuts donut, but just the fact that it is fried bread with sugar. YUMM-0! Now, I should feel guilty as sin about eating this confection, or the homemade rasin bread I made, or the muffins I made (whole wheat and Malt-o-meal)or, well, you get the idea. I will go back on the wagon tomorrow, but for tday, I feel no guilt. Why bother feeling guilty, it just ruins the joy of the moment. I can deal with it tomorrow. What is your take? Beat yourself up? Enjoy it for the here and now? Throw caution to the wind or just say no?

New Year, New Me

2008-01-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

What do ya think? New template, new pictures, new...

I hope you all had a great holiday season and the start of promises to be a wonderful new year. I am looking forward to many more ponderings, musings and conversations!

Happy 2008!

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-01-06T14:57:00.001-08:00

Why on the lips???

2007-12-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

We were watching an episode of Friends recently, and it was the one where Ross and Monica go to her cousin's wedding. In the episode, they have an aunt who insists of kissing Ross on the lips. It freaks him out and he keeps asking, "Why? Why on the lips?!?!"

Since it is the holiday season and we have all been spending time with our loved ones, I am sure that at least some of you have come across this. I know I have.

I, however, do not have to wait for the holidays to see long lost relatives to do it. No. My in-laws do it constantly. Ken and I have talked about it, and he said he has tried to break his mom of doing it with some success. I could not, though, achieve the same with Ken's Dad. I have gotten to the point that I simply avoid greeting him or saying goodbye with a kiss.

Now, for the longest time, I though this was just an anomaly with Ken's folks. I. Was. Wrong. This past week, while visiting my Dad, he did it several times. One time, he even held my face in his hand and did it. Now, before that skives you out, please know that it was definitely a kiss from a father to a daughter, and nothing icky otherwise. But, it was still on the lips.

So I ask you -- do you encounter the same thing with your friends or family? Are you, by chance, the inflicter of these often-wet kisses? And Why? Why must it always be on the lips???

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2007-12-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

'Nuf said.

PS: Oh yeah, my Dad is doing really well and we are coming home tomorrow (Sunday!)

Spoke too soon

2007-12-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

While Ken and I were both so excited to be done with our travels for the year, a new trip has popped up. Talk about missed it by thismuch...

My Dad has been in the hospital in LA since last Monday with a pretty bad case of pneumonia -- two days in ICU did my stress centers a world of good. But he is doing so much better. He sounds great and is busy busting my chops -- that is how I know he is feeling better! He gets to go home tomorrow (Christmas day -- no biggie since we are Jewish).

In the meantime, since he is not able to come here to be with us for the holidays, and since I really am feeling the need to see him in person and help him in any way I can, Ken and I are heading back to LA on Wednesday. We are going to try to be back here in Vegas before the craziness and tourists start for New Years Eve, so wish us luck!

On the plus side, we will be seeing my dad and hopefully getting to visit my cousin who just announced her engagement. So. Excited. For. Her! AND we will be staying at our home away from home.

When we go to LA, which has been a LOT this year, we always stay at a Hilton in the Valley. The prices are fabulous and the staff is unreal. They remember our names and actually look happy to see us when we pull in. The bellman, Nelson, is the very kind older man. He just makes me smile, "Mrs. Kraft, so nice to see you again..." We get warm smiles from the front desk crew as well. It really is a home away from home.

So while we are gone, I hope you all get to recover from Christmas and enjoy the time off. Relax, have fun and get ready to blow the top off of 2007 and welcome in 2008 -- a great new year for all!

Where do I start?

2007-12-10T17:23:00.001-08:00

There is so much to write about these days, and I have tons of stuff floating around in my brain. I think, though, for now, I will start with frivolity and share pictures.

As Ken said in his blog, we are done with traveling for the year! Yay!!! But we just got back from a trip to Philly to celebrate the Bar Mitzva of his little cousin. This trip meant a lot of big things, including me meeting his dad's extended family. This will be a blog posting all its own. But I thought I would share a picture of us with Ken's sister and her husband.

When we got home last night, I was so excited. not only were we celebrating the end of a long weekend and the end of traveling for the year, but we were able to just relax in our home -- which is all decorated for the holidays, both of them. We really are an interesting mix in our home.

The menorah is out and sitting pretty in its wintry setting. But it will be put away at the end of this week. It is beautiful to look at, though, then it is all light up.

Last year I started Ken with his nativity set and the three colorful fellows on the end. This year, for Hanukkah, I gave him the Three Wise Men that go with his set. It is actually looking quite lovely, if I do say so myself.
The tree is simple but I like it. Lots of snowflakes and wintry delights. There are a few religious ornaments that Ken has gotten from his mom over the years, but other than that, it is a pretty sedate tree. It just makes the room so happy for me to be in!

Oh! Did I mention, no more traveling this year?

Buggin'

2007-12-05T08:37:00.000-08:00

So as everyone knows, who reads this blog, Ken and I have been on a healthy lifestyle craze. We are both dropping weight with diet and exercise aided by the Bodybugg device. This nifty gadget gets worn on the back side of the upper right arm -- mostly hidden by clothes. It is quite a tricky little do dad. Basically, there are sensors on the back of it that somehow track your every calorie burned, step walked and bouts of sustained physical activity.

All this information gets uploaded into the computer as well as my entering into the same computer program every calorie I take in. Basically, it gives me concrete numbers to work with so I know exactly what I am taking in versus burning. Simple, really, burn more than you eat and the weight falls off.

Well, last night was the first night of Hanukkah, and Ken decided to enable my complete obsession with all things Bodybugg! There is a digital readout accessory that wears like a watch -- and it shows me up to the minute details such as my calories burned, or steps taken, etc. It is wicked cool! It is really the only thing I wanted for any of the holidays, so I am taken care of good! Yay!!!!

Now, nothing says I will not be continuously uploading information so I can have it charted for posterity, but I can now obsess as much as my little heart desires!

Oh, by the weigh (pun intended) as of this morning, according to my scale, I am down 49.5 pounds!

PS: Holiday Q&A returns!!!
Q: Were you ever in a Holiday play, and if so, what part did you play?
A: I was in a pageant of some kind when I was a wee one and I played one of several Little Drummer Girls. I even found the coffee can drums when we were cleaning out my Mom's place. The only reason I remember this, though is that we have pictures, which I also found. As soon as I remember where I put them, I will upload to share. How about you? Any plays or costumes?

A day like no other

2007-11-22T00:13:00.000-08:00

The turkey is in its bath of brine.
The onions and celery are chopped for dressing.
The salad dressing is made and the recipes are all printed out.

Perhaps the day will come when this all seems like second nature. But for some reason, especially this year, I am feeling very out of place -- even in my own kitchen.

As it is after midnight, today is officially November 22. Mom, you would have been 65 today and we would have spent this past evening out to dinner at a lovely restaurant, celebrating your birthday and discussing all the preparations to be done for the joyous holiday that is to be tonight. Thanksgiving was always a very special holiday to you, and therefore to me, and this year it seems even more poignant, as it falls on your birthday.

The tears that flow at this hour are no longer from the onions, rather they are from a heart that is broken again that you are not here to complete the tradition that we so solemnly set forth to create. Thanksgiving was a day of thanks, for sure, but more than that, it was our day. I promise, while I will hold your memory near and dear, I will not sully it by making anything less than a fabulous holiday fete for all who join us.

As usual, we will be with family. Ken and I have forged a family unit as one that I am so proud of and thankful for. Ken's folks will be here, as will be a few close friends and a few "strays" who I just felt needed a place to land. Gee, I wonder where I learned that generosity of spirit.

Dad was going to join us, but due to some health issues, we all felt the drive was not in his best interest. We will see him next week and celebrate with him at that point.

I am going to sleep now, and will, no doubt, dream of happy Thanksgivings we shared and of course, all that there are still to be. When I wake, I will remember all the things I am most thankful for. But right now, at this moment, the only thing I see in front of me are my tears and a picture of you.

I love you Mom. Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Birthday!

Two-Parter

2007-11-18T15:57:00.000-08:00

Q: What is your first holiday/Christmas memory and what was your favorite thing about childhood holiday/Christmas celebrations?

A: My first holiday memory comes from when I was probably 4 or 5. I remember there being a TON of presents under the tree, as well as the menorah. We had a tree, and I remember opening packages with ornaments and hanging them on the lower branches. My favorite present that year, the one I most remember was a giant Barbie head. It was just the head and she came with make up and all sorts of hair stuff so you could make her all pretty. (Later, I took scissors to that Barbie head -- oops!)

My favorite part of the holidays as a kid was getting to see my cousins. I did not see them very often, especially from my Dad's side of the family, so it was always an adventure to open all the Hanukkah gifts from my aunts and uncles and then sit and compare with the other kids. Add to that that we always took a family picture -- all of us in one shot, and Aunt Wini's potato latkes were the BEST! We would then celebrate with my Mom's side of the family. Those memories are few and far between, but I remember enjoying the fact that everyone came to our house. We played in the family room while the adults all hung out in the formal living room. It was just a happy time for me as a kid, and I think to this day it still is.

The holidays are the only time of year that I can give to others and get no real argument. I enjoy giving of myself and sharing gifts with my friends and family -- but often I get the stink eye. This is the time of year that I get to have fun, shop and do nice things for other people, with no one really having any reason to give me grief. Yay!

To sum it up, I guess my favorite part of the holidays as a kid was the general camaraderie it invited, and the same holds true for today.

Here it comes...

2007-11-14T20:39:00.000-08:00

This week has been active and busy as we start to prep for the onslaught of holidays that are heading our way. My Dad will be with us for Thanksgiving this year. It is his first time with me for the holiday, as Turkey day was always my Mom's holiday with me. I think I am nervous. First of all, he has never stayed with me before and is actually staying with me and Ken. Secondly, he has never had my cooking before. While I know I am a good cook, it is still a little unnerving. Finally, my Mom's birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year. She would have been 65 and I am already feeling a little blue about not getting to celebrate her very favorite days on the same day with her. You know? I do not want my sadness to overshadow my joy for sharing the holiday with my Dad, but at the same time, I do not want the joy of sharing it with my Dad to take away from the memories I celebrate with and of my Mom. I hope this makes sense. I mean, I know the logic of it all, but...

PS: Let's give this Q and A thing another go

Q: What is the farthest you have traveled to celebrate the holidays?

A: For me, personally, I have not ever had to travel very far. In College I had to drive from Fresno (Central CA) to Los Angeles and in my adult life, it has been pretty much the same. From Vegas to LA is only about 4.5 hours, and that is as far as I have had to go. Unlike my husband, who has had to do tons of traveling for the holidays. Hopefully, he will share some of his adventures with you all.

A New Tradition

2007-11-11T10:25:00.001-08:00

I have decided that since the new commercial holiday tradition seems to be advertising and selling Christmas effective November 1, I will take advantage of this fact and start some interesting conversations. In my search for holiday gifts -- yes, I am nearly done with my holiday shopping -- I stumbled upon a great set of holiday icebreakers cards. Interesting stuff. You will all now be my guinea pigs :-)

Icebreaker for the day: If you could give any gift to one person, what would it be and who would you give it to?

That is a tough one - I am waffling between giving my friend Teri the gift of a stress and anxiety-free weekend full of SLEEP, giving my Dad a year of rent for his home and office, or, giving Ken a set of season tickets to the Oakland A's with hotel and travel accommodations for every game. ( I thought about tickets to the Bills, but realized that means lots of snow -- he hates snow)

PS: Just in case you forgot we still have our joint blog where we talk about the ups and downs of married life and how we are growing as a family -- together.

Hey, Good Lookin'... What'cha Got Cookin???

2007-11-03T19:22:00.000-07:00

I have to tell someone. Ken already knows, so it is not like any big surprise to him, but I am feeling the need to gloat, brag, express, share...

I can seriously cook. No, seriously! Not being egotistical or anything, seriously. But: I. Can. Cook.

Ken said he wanted a cheeseburger tonight. We toyed with going out, but frankly, with us both dieting and being super careful about what we eat, I just could not stomach the idea of going somewhere where I had no control over what I was or was not really eating. I made him a mushroom Swiss burger that smelled and (he said tasted) fabulous. I even sauteed the mushrooms for him in red chili infused olive oil and ended them in a balsamic reduction. I do not know how I know how to do this, but apparently I do.

I, on the other hand, did not want a burger. I did not know what I wanted. So I started puttering in the kitchen. I swear, it is one of my most favorite things to do. Putter in the kitchen. I started with cutting up some red bell pepper and putting it in a bowl with red wine vinegar and some kosher salt -- just for munching while I puttered. Then it came to me. I had seen Ellie Krieger do a sweet potato hash on the food network this morning and figured I would give it a shot -- ad libbing of course. Heaven forbid I go pull up a recipe. After a little of this and a little of that, and a sprinkled topping of low fat shredded cheddar -- O. My. Gosh! I CAN COOK! This stuff was amazing. Can't wait to make it again.

Our plates looked as different as they would have had we gone out to eat. He had a burger, sweet potato fries and some red pepper/tomato/blue cheese salad and I had the has, with some of the tomatoes and some steamed zucchini. My plate was colorful and bright and interesting looking, and his looked like good ol' comfort food.

I find that now that I am paying better attention to what we eat, our food is yummier, fresher, tastier and the best part is that I am eating it and still down more than 40 pounds. I prefer to cook at home than to eat out at this point. For lots of reasons, but more and more, because I know what I make at home will just taste better. Oh! And the calories I burn while I am cooking give my workouts a run for their money. Gotta love that.

Anyway, I had to share this with you all, because, honestly, there are not a lot of things I do that I feel this good about. But tonight's dinner just confirmed what I have suspected all along -- I can COOK!

Totally Stolen Idea

2007-10-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

OK, so this is my life update for the week of October 22, 2007: (Thanks Marten and Ken)

Celebrated one year anniversary with my specialist guy EVER! Not sure how it happened, but I am way lucky -- and honestly, so is he (no ego!). I am totally excited to see where this little adventurous journey will take us next.
Got the most beautiful flowers delivered on anniversary-- all the flowers from my wedding bouquet in a beautiful vase. -- I know, sick, huh? He rocks! (oh! And a pink mother of pearl faced Tag. watch surrounded by diamonds [pictures coming soon])
Also got a wicked cool periwinkle iPod Shuffle. I have been wanting one for my walks, bike rides and gym excursions. (this leads to the next highlight)
Gym is paying off -- 36 pounds gone, and counting. I LOVE MY TRAINER!
Finally got a bunch of thank you notes out. I know they are way late, but better late than never, right? More notes to write and more to mail.
Met with folks to do some party planning. Candlelighters of Southern Nevada is a great organization that works with children with cancer and their families. They asked if I would volunteer my services to help coordinate their big Christmas/Holiday party. Since I have not planned a party in over a year (see first bullet point) I jumped at the chance to make some little ones smile.
Finally uploaded a ton of music onto my iTunes. I think if anyone saw my play list they would think I had personality disorders (yes, plural). Tonight, I was listening to the tunes while cooking a yummy dinner of sloppy joes and sweet potato fries, and song one was the Barenaked Ladies live from a concert I went to, followed up by a song from my workout cd called Come Baby Come... Now the funny thing was that the BNL song included some conversation at the end that introduced their next song; " That was from our last album, but this is from our current release..." "Come Babe Come Baby, Baby come come... " TOO FUNNY!
Celebrated all sorts of birthdays and milestones with Teri last week, but it feels like it should be included in this week's update for some reason. Cannot believe Jacob is 1, and even more, cannot believe Josh is 18. How did Teri get old enough to have an 18 yr old?!?! (Ha Ha)

OK, off to a bike ride with my honey and then settling in for a fudge bar and Private Practice!

My Bud...

2007-10-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

I was 21 when we got her. Well, not we actually, more like my Mom. Her name would be Rosebud -- for when she rolled over to expose her tummy, you could plainly see her tender pink (rose bud) skin through her fur. At the time, all I ever thought was that she was my Mom's dog, and cute as could be for a ball of fur. White with black spotting. Over time the spotting got to be more and more, kind of like freckles on the face of a child. One minute they are plain faced, and the next, you could play connect the dots.

Over time the color markings on her fur are not all that have changed; she is now grey and white-ish verses the true black and white of the past. She grew up. Bigger than a Laso Apso should grow. Turns out she is a mixed breed -- oh the horror, LOL. Judging by the size of her, I am going to venture to say she is a Laso/Terrier mix of some kind. My mother, however, would tell you or anyone who might listen that she is a mix of Laso and Dalmatian. How is that for a visual!?
She is a kind dog. Smart as a whip too. She has a myriad of nicknames: Budley, Rosebudelia, Puppy Girl, The Bud, and a few others. And the great thing is that she knows them all. It is not like she will come for just any name -- only her names. I even tried calling her names with the same syllabic structure with a sweet tone of voice. She ignored them - but came to the names she knew were hers. SMART I tell ya.

She is a loyal dog. I think she decided a long time ago that I was her human, rather than her being my dog. While she lived with my Mom, there was no doubt who she loved the best. The minute I walked into a room, she was at my side. Some things, thank heavens, never change. When we inherited her last year when my Mom passed away, she took to me like time had never passed. To this day, I feel kind of badly for it, she follows me from room to room, no matter what I am doing. If I am going back and forth from and to the laundry, she is there by my side with each step. Loyal as can be.

With all the joy she brings, and love and affection and loyalty, she makes me sad. Rosebud is now 16 years old. That is OLD for a dog. She can't get around as easily as she used to, but she still follows my every step. She plops down wherever there is a space for her, and within minutes is snoring away, like you would imagine an old lady might do. Her patience level is waining too. She actually growls at people and tried to take a piece of the screen installer last week. She is old and wants to be left alone; aside from the daily doses of loving and snuggles. It is tough to give her that love though, sometimes.

Rosebud is the K-9 version of Phoebe's Smelly Cat. Only I do take care of her. Ken feeds and waters her, while I make sure she is bathed regularly and all the goopies are out of her eyes. She is an allergic dog, and those allergies come out in her skin. And it smells. Not to mention the constant yeast infections in her ears. Can you imagine how horrible that must feel -- oh the itching! The infections usually keep her inner ears so plugged up and inflamed that she is all but deaf. Add to that the cataracts in her eyes, and this dog has it from all ends.

But just as much as she has all that other stuff is as much as she has my love, affection, loyalty and joy. She is sweet and will forever be my puppy girl. Maybe some time I will tell you about her amazing singing voice!

Let's Go Buffalo!!!

2007-10-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

"Honey, I promised Lora that I would smack-talk for her. Just so you know."
"Who are you married to?"
"Point taken."

Game: Bills v. Cowboys
Outcome: this.close by 1 pt in the last 2 seconds!
New side of Ken: RAGE
Maybe next time...

Thinking in overdrive -- long post

2007-10-03T19:07:00.001-07:00

With all the changes I am making to my life in general; eating healthy, exercising, cleaning out stuff, etc., I am overcome with some recurring thoughts that have me nearly paralyzed.

What do I want to be when I grow up? I have had several thoughts and ideas , ranging from opening a store to free-lance writing to being a diabetic educator. But with time, each of these ideas has wavered or something else has perked my interest. I have been told that I would be a great party [planner, so that is a thought as well. All I know is that i want to feel successful. I want to be the go-to girl for something. You know what I mean?

How is my health and my history going to effect our options for children. I am not sure I have shared it yet, but we were told that due to my health, my carrying a child and delivering could prove fatal -- to me and the baby. As a result we have decided to adopt. But I know that here is serious background checking that goes on, from health to credit history. I lay awake at night sometimes wondering if my health alone would be reason enough for someone to not allow us to adopt a baby that I know we would love so much. I guess time will tell on that one.

Is this new found love of healthy living just a phase? Did I get excited at first and will I just let it all wilt away like I have so many other things I am so gung ho about? Part of it is fear of failure, but some of it is fear of success I think. My health is not a part time gig, nor is it something that is going to miraculously repair itself. I have lived with lupus for 24 years with no infinite restrictions, but diabetes is a whole new thing. I do not to have it ravage me like I have seen it do to others before, but is this a vigilant fight I will always have to fight? I imagine I will grow tired at some point.

My Dad is not doing well. There is nothing wrong per-sey, he is relatively healthy, aside from some chronic issues, and he is leading a very independent life. But I worry about him. Just as I worried about my Mom, I think that Dad is lonely sometimes. It makes me sad that there is nothing I can do. My sister and I are the only two members of the big K family that live out of the area, so Dad does not get to have as much family time as his brothers have with their kids. I worry about his work, his lack of preparation for retirement and his very strong work ethic and sense of pride. He rarely lets me in and would balk if I offered to help. So I sit by and tel him I love him and visit when I can.

Finally, is there an afterlife, and if there is, can my Mom see everything I am doing? Would she approve? Would she agree with the decisions I have made? I don't need her approval, I know, but she was such an imperative part of my life that it feels weird to be doing so much and not getting her opinions. IN fact, I had a dream about her the other day in which she weighed in on all of it. The only thing she did not like was my hair. Otherwise all was well. I wonder if I willed this dream because I miss her so much, or if it was possibly her way of letting me know what is the down low. Hmmm .

These are the things that keep me up at night and keep my gears burning on all cylinders -- overthinking.

Talk about new chapters!

2007-09-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

While I am dying to talk more and more about the wonder that is my new bike, I do not want this to become a blog about bicycles. Suffice it to say that Ken and I went on a 25 minute ride this morning and I cannot wait to go for a ride again tonight!

I talk of new chapters as this year has been full of so many major changes. First my Mom passed (this will always be a marker of time in my life) and then I got married. I have hashed and rehashed all the changes so many times... but now some of the realities are hitting me again.

As Ken and I sat in the living room last night watching the much awaited and very satisfying Private Practice on ABC, I looked around me and saw Ken sitting on the sofa content as could be, our dogs laying like rugs on the floor around him, our new coffee table that is exactly what I hoped it would be; the screens were open giving a nice breeze of night time air and I realized how nice my life has become.

Never did I think I would find this kind of peace, even with the tumult, I call it peace. I am content, not complacent and I have a true appreciation for what my life is and what it is becoming.

We topped it all off with a dip in the hot tub and then drifted off to a wonderful night's sleep. :::sigh::: I don't mean to gloat or brag, but life is sweet at this moment. And after the last couple of years, I am learning, finally, to enjoy those moments as they come and for what they are. Moments and a life being lived.

OH! The rest of the living room furniture will be in on Friday -- a week earlier than expected.
So. Very. Excited.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee

2007-09-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

We took the bikes out for their inaugural ride yesterday. Wow! I was so excited. The excitement quickly diminished, though, as I found out just how out of shape I am. Ugh!

I think it might be a while, a short while, before I am heading out on that one mile ride to Teri's or the in-laws'. We went around the corner to our friends' house in our own community, and I was red-faced and gasping for air. Now that may have had something to do with the fact that my bike settings were all set for higher tension, and my seat was too low causing my knees to nearly hit me in the chin with each rotation, but it was tougher than I anticipated.

On our way home, though, I got the gears changed up and adjusted the seat. MUCH better. I may not be as giddy as I was, but I am determined and excited still about getting to go for rides with my honey.

The weather out here has been amazing, so I can only imagine how great it will be as it continues and my endurance builds. I foresee some great rides in our future.

Joy of Joys!

2007-09-21T16:04:00.000-07:00

So I am in the middle of a thought provoking, meaningful blog posting -- one which was so intense that I have saved it for further perusal before I actually post it.

In the mean time, and in between time, Ken and I have been busy getting adjusted to this new part of our life and making some pretty interesting decisions.

Since I have been diagnosed with Diabetes, we have both really been watching what we are eating -- getting, dare I say, Healthy. Top it off with an addiction to the new season of NBC"s The Biggest Loser, and we are a couple of regular health nuts. Kind of.

It hit a new level today. After a lunch of soup and salad, we decided to go shopping to buy bikes. While we were out and about, we stopped at the gym and signed me up for the 24 Hour Fitness The Biggest Loser program. That includes training sessions and all sorts of other education and "stuff." Ken got a training package too. We are both really looking forward to getting back into the gym. At different times, Ken and I have both been full blown Gym Rats. I am reminded of all the things I liked about the gym -- most of all, the inches I lost!

Next, we went to Cost Co and bought ourselves new bikes! A bike, can you believe it? I have not ridden a bike in forever and a day.

While Ken is more excited about the gym stuff and being able to get ourselves moving back on the fitness track, I am simply overjoyed with my pretty new blue Schwinn bike! I cannot wait to ride it to Teri's house, or Ken's Folks' place, or on the trails, or, or, or... I swear, I am giddy as a 6 year old getting her first pink bike with the basket, bell and ribbons on the handle bars.

What is your unexpected joy?

Busy Bees

2007-09-09T20:04:00.001-07:00

Well, it appears that Sundays are going to be my main blogging day. And seeing as how it is Sunday, I am guessing it is time to type...

We just got back into town this afternoon from a wonderful visit with Janell and George in Seattle -- and Madison. We cannot forget little Madison.

Let me just tell you that aside from having a wonderful time making cards (Janell is a Stamping Up demonstrator, so we made some fun cards), going shopping at the outlets (because there are none of those in Vegas, ha-ha) and checking out Pike's Place and Public Market (where we were at the original Starbucks) one of the highlights of the trip was the weather. Yes, the weather.

While we have had triple digits here in Vegas for what seems like months (mostly because it has been), the weather in Seattle was in the 70s and down to the 50-60s at night! Wooo Hoo! I actually had to wear jeans and a sweater!

Janell and George spent a good deal of the trip trying to convince us to move there. After the delightful weather, fresh air and produce and beautiful surroundings, I would be lying if I did not say I/we felt a sense of temptation. But we are not going anywhere -- for a while. There are too many things and people holding us here in Vegas. But I have a feeling we will be making a return visit sooner than later.

Oh! I cannot forget to tell you about Voula's! We are Food Network junkies -- and there is a show on there hosted by Guy Fierie "Diners Drive-Ins and Dives. Well, Voula's was a cafe that had been featured on the show. I told Janell that we HAD to go there. So go there we did! The food was great -- George even had two sandwiches and I ate things I should not have eaten (bad diabetic, bad Amy). But it was awesome!

Ken and I had a wonderful time, but are still thrilled to be home. I am sure that Ken will be blogging about all the reasons he is happy to be home and what new itmes he has added to his arsenal.

In the meantime, I pose this question: Have you ever seen something on TV and just had to track it down? IF so, what was it and were you glad you did?

A talking what?

2007-09-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

While I have been spending more time at home contemplating my future, as well as my navel, it has come to my attention that advertisers are just plain annoying and silly. Pet peeves come and go with me, as I am sure they do with most of you, sometimes more apparent than others. So knowing that, I am hoping that this one is on its way out. And the term PET peeve is not used lightly.

Can someone please tell my why it is that in order to sell a room deodorizer, an octopus must become the head of a household and wield an iron? Or why in a movie theater, to sell refreshments, cats must somehow stand on two feet and dance a la Fred and Ginger? These are but two examples of the use of animals as humans that absolutely sends me over the edge!

I know, I am overthinking.

P.S. I will admit to falling in love with the yellow lab that sings at camp for the Advantix pet guard stuff. That is the cutest little puppy and all he wants to do is have fun at camp!

Closing Doors and Opening Windows

2007-08-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

I have been putting this off for what seems like forever. So here I am, as I have promised my wonderful husband (ken) I would, writing a new post and catching up with my friends in blogland. As you can see, there are a few changes to my layout, profile and general blog purposes, so this will serve as a closing post for the latest chapter of my life and a welcome chapter for the new...

First off, there have been more than enough reasons to post in the past 7 months; plenty of life happenings and internal arguments, as well as ideas for pondering. Here is a brief rundown of life as I have known it:

We spent most of February in LA working on my Mom's house; getting it ready to rent out. In the 3 1/2 weeks we were there, we accomplished maybe 20% of what needed to be done. This lead to every-other-weekend visits to LA for most of March and May. then we bumped it up and spent every weekend, save for one, in LA between the end of May and the end of July. Now we are in August and we are at the point that the renovations are nearly complete and we can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are both trying to figure out what we are going to do with so much time on our hands now that the trips have slowed down. Another point for pondering arises -- After someone has helped with what seems an insurmountable task, how do you know when you have said thank you enough -- is there such a time?
Ken and I went on a concert kick of sorts -- an American Idol kick no-less. We saw both Taylor Hicks ( the 2006 AI winner) and Bo Bice (the 2005 first runner up). Both concerts were fun and we had great date nights. However, these concerts raised a question -- Is it worth it to go to a concert if you do not know any of the performer's songs?
My health has been quite the roller coaster ride as well this year. In April I ended up with both an upper respiratory infection and a blood clot in my leg. Followed all that up with severe exhaustion -- or so we thought. I could not get enough sleep and no matter what we did, I was TIRED... well, it turns out that in early June I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. That sure did explain a LOT! (Ken was an amazing caregiver and support the entire time.)
My 18 year-old niece announced that she is pregnant (Due in September). She is a twin, and one might call her the "good one". While one niece has been very busy growing up before her time and living on the edge, this niece has been doing well in school, working and planning to go to college. It looks like plans have changed slightly, but I am pleased to say that she graduated from high school in May, is still with the baby's father and plans to marry him as well as go to college in the next year. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. While life can throw us curve balls, is it better to live at full strength consequences be damned or is it "smarter" to play it safe and stay true to the course?
Ken and I have survived, and even thrived in the first 10 months of our marriage. For more on that, go to the For Better or For Worse blog listed in my links.
In early July I was notified that my office was moving -- again, 14th time in ten years. I will save you from all the details, but let's just say that my new space was sub-par.

Now the big one...

I QUIT MY JOB -- after 10 years with a great company (Health Plan of Nevada) I decided, and Ken supported my actions, that it was time for me to leave the nest of "comfort" and take a little time to catch a deep breath and decide what I want to do with my life. My job at HPN has always been something I kind of just went with the flow on -- nothing I ever loved or wanted to do. Well, between the traveling every weekend, the mounting piles of crap at home as a result, the events of the past 18 months and my continuously unstable health, something had to give. Though I loved the people I worked with, my tenuous relationship with my boss as well as an increasing sense of non satisfaction prevailed and work was that something.

I am now happily on a sabbatical (6 months to a year) and between doctors appointments, organizing our house and making it a home and just plain ol' catching a deep breath, I am trying to decide what I want to do in the next chapter of my life.

Let the musing begin.

Timing is everything

2007-01-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

I was all set to update my blog and tell you all all about the fabulous birthday Ken made sure I had. I was going to tell you all about our holidays, and all of the good stuff that is coming with the new year. Instead, I changed my template and tried to find a picture to add -- to no avail. Now I am tired and will blog again another day.

Ho - Ho - Huh???

2006-12-26T07:19:00.000-08:00

I simply cannot believe that Christmas is here and gone! Reminiscent of our wedding -- worked so long for something then in one fell swoop, it is just gone. WEIRD!

The holiday itself was pleasant. Ken and I had the whole day planned out, but none of our plan got the opportunity to come to fruition. Other forces were seemingly working against us. In the end, though, it was a lovely day and we spent it together. That, I think, is the best and most important part. We had a nice dinner with my in-laws and a couple of friends, and opened lots of presents throughout the day. It really was just wonderful when I look back on it.

Here is the thing, though. We ( the collective we) spend so much time preparing for the holiday that we really don't get to enjoy it. I baked cookies til they were coming out of my ears, and applesauce too. WE did holiday cards, and wrapped gifts and played Santa... All the thing you do at this time of year. But we were so busy doing all of that, that the holidays just whizzed by -- like it does every year.

I think that next year it will be no plans... I will bake in November and freeze the cookies, make one batch of sauce and shop on line by Thanksgiving and then just call it a day. I want to go check out Opportunity Village and drive through Sunset Park to see the lights. I want to visit with friends and take in a couple of movies. I want to really relish the days leading up to the big day. I want to not get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that we miss what is right in front of us.

Fact, though, is that it will probably not happen -- I will bake and cook and decorate and send cards just like every year.

Until then... I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and are ready to close out 2006 with a bang.

Without Fail

2006-12-14T06:58:00.000-08:00

Do you ever notice that there are certain things that can make you smile and happy, no matter what else is going on? And unfortunately, there are also a list of things that make you unhappy in the same fashion?

Things that make me smile -- ALWAYS
Ken's tummy!
Rosebud rolling around on the ground and then standing up looking like a Troll Doll
Thorndyke giving me an "Aren't I just too cute" look
Found money in a clothing pocket
Ken's "hey , it's me" calls
Random I LOVE YOU emails
Comments on my blog posting
Wicked
Rainbows
Peanut butter and jelly sammiches waiting for me in the morning

Things that make me frown -- ALWAYS
When I realize I have been mean or hurtful (intentional or not)
Collections agency calls, even if they are not for me
The dogs eating "kitty caviar"
The sound of a friend's voice who is sad for any reason
Getting on a scale
Alarm clocks
Ken leaving for India
Rosebud having trouble standing up cause her arthritis hurts
When I have no comments on my blog post

Have a HAPPY THURSDAY

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

2006-12-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

So much to share...
Thanksgiving was lovely. Ken and I hosted his folks and a couple of friends. The only glitch in the day was my setting the marshmellows on the sweet potatoes on fire. I know... That takes talent. There they were, toasting to perfection, then I spaced them and walked away, Came back, opened the oven door and there were actually flames. FLAMES! But it was all good, we all giggled and a larger issue was avoided. But, this will always be the year I set the dinner on fire. Who can blame me? There is just something about roasted marshmellows... Not buying it?

No sooner were we through with Turkey day, that we decided it would be a good day to try our luck at the most painful shopping experience a person can have. No, we did not go Black Friday shopping. Worse than that. We went... Car shopping. I will not bore you with the details other than to tell you that Honda West totally blew their chance to work with us, and as a result we purchased my brand new 2007 Honda Pilot from Shack Findlay Honda in the auto mall. It is PRETTY (she says purring) Deep Cherry Metallic with tan leather interior and all the bells and whistles. It is HUGE. I went from a 2 door civic coupe to a great big, behemoth 4 door 8 passenger Pilot. Yipppeee.... I LOVE IT!

The long and short of it is that if you have CostCo membership and need to buy a car, use the car buying program! We negotiated a decent deal, but then they came along and saved us an additional $1100. Yay Cost Co!

Christmas shopping is well under way. Most of our friend shopping is done. All of our charitable shopping is done, and I am done shopping for Ken. All that is left are those darned holiday cards, and gifts for my work people and a few select others.

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas... (so sings the Jew.)

When I'm 64

2006-11-22T06:49:00.000-08:00

Today would have been her 64th birthday. She would have arrived here yesterday with dogs in tow and settled in for a week long visit. We would have gone to dinner tonight, somewhere special and maybe to a show, and there would have been gifts opened and candles blown out.

Instead, however, the dogs now live with me in her absence and I will be in the kitchen getting ready for Thanksgiving alone. My mother will not be here to celebrate her birthday, or make the turkey or spend what has been ingrained in me as the most wonderful holiday together. She is here, in my home and always in my heart, but there will not be any candles on a cake, any wrapping paper to throw away nor any advice on whether the turkey is ready or not.

My Mom LOVED Thanksgiving... and her birthday. They were both such wonderful occasions for her. Even better were the years that they overlapped, as they will next year. She also loved the McCartney song, "When I'm 64." I doubt any of us thought she would not be here to sing that song with us today, or to be a part of our first Thanksgiving in our new home, or for so many firsts that are still to come.

This post is merely a birthday card to you, Mom. Wherever you are, and whatever you are doing... You are in my heart today and always and I love you -- even at 64. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Too Much Time

2006-11-05T09:09:00.000-08:00

I have apparently had way too much time on my hands -- but laying on a Jamaican beach for a week will do that to ya, I guess.

Revisiting old trains of thought, I am back at one that just escapes me. Why is it we are so much more forgiving for ourselves than we are for those we love. Not forgiving OF ourselves, but FOR ourselves.

If someone does me wrong, hurts me or treats me in any way less than I want them too, I am pretty quick to forgive, understand, and overlook. But do the same thing to someone I love, and you are toast in my book.

While the person offended may be past it, move on or overlook, I am right there at the ready and all worked up into a lather.

Mind you, I eventually get past it, but man, oh man, am I a bundle of animosity until I do. I am working diligently at fixing this way of being, as I love a lot of people, and find that it is tiring to be so worked up all the time.

Anyone else able to relate to this?

Paying Homage

2006-10-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

They bark at the slightest movement.
They eat our carpeting.
They scratch into our brand new house.
They turn our new lawn into a toilet.
They torment the cats with staredowns and positions ready to pounce.

They trust you over and over, even when you give them yucky tasting medicine.

They lay down next to you and place a head on your legs, peeping up through big brown eyes.
They literally smile when you pay attention to them.
They wag their tails wildly when you walk into the room.
They roll over onto their backs, exposing sweet, soft tummies for a petting.
They learn to understand what you are saying when you clearly do not speak the same language.
These dogs we inherited are trouble with a capital T, annoying at the most inopportune moments and demanding. But they are the most wonderful, sweet, soft, loving and amazing furry people I know. They can lift a spirit with a glance and when I miss her the most, they tell me that my Mom is still around.

Thanks Rosebud and Thorndyke. You are each one of a kind.

Updates Galore-- LONG

2006-09-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in writing. It seems the only things I was feeling like writing about were sad, emotional and weepy. So I decided not to post about them incessantly and to deal with them on my own. Today, I am feeling like offering an update on the last month and some random pondering.

I still miss my Mom. There are little things every day that make me miss her, and while I hope that time eases that, I also hope it never goes away. There was a lot of good in my Mom, and do not ever want to forget that.

All the medical stuff is finally coming to a close. I had minor surgery on Tuesday morning, home Tuesday night and out and slowly about by Thursday. It is actually comical -- we went from the promise of a full hysterectomy 5 weeks before the wedding to a laparascopic procedure with doctors' orders to get pregnant as soon as possible.

Work is still crazy, but thanks to the surgery, I was out of the office for a full week. Not looking forward to going back on Tuesday -- Just before I left, they moved my cubicle again! This is my 13th move in less than 10 years, AND it is my second move since July! With each move over the last few years, my space gets smaller and smaller. I fear the next one.

I had the first of 3 bridal showers this weekend. What a delight and what a treat. I will post more about it in the wedding blog.

The dogs and cats are adjusting, at the rate of molasses. Oh. My. God! Thorndyke takes great joy in stalking and torturing the cats, who take great joy in being skiddish and teasing with waving tails and unfriendly growling. They do not get along. At All. I am so totally hoping it will ease up soon.

I owe big thank yous to so many people for all their kind words of encouragement and support over the last 2 months. I cannot imagine going through all of this without the support system that I am lucky enough to have in place. Ken is my rock. In some ways I think my Mom felt OK leaving me because she knew that I had Ken and his amazing family. She knew I would be loved and taken care of. She was right. My friends, Teri, Janell, Lora, Laura, Shannon, etc... have just been out of sight! I do not know how I have managed to garner such wonderful people in my life, but I am feeling very fortunate.

Part of the legacy my Mom left behind was in her frinedships. In the month (yes, 4 weeks yesterday) since she has passed, several of her friends have stepped forward and have slowly but surely become my friends. My mom always said she wanted to give me family, as she had no familial relationships with her siblings or extended family. It saddened her to not be able to give me that. Well, she can rest easy in the knowledge that she has left me a group of aunts, uncles, big and little sisters and even a grandparent or two that have happily and readily stepped to the plate to provide unwaivering support and love.

Pondering: How is it that people we do not know from Adam can grow to be more important and active in our lives than those that are called family?

Forever changed

2006-08-25T19:22:00.000-07:00

I remarked to Ken on our way home from Los Angeles last week that nothing will be the same... "No, no it will not," he agreed.

My mother has passed away, of this we can be sure. But I had no real grasp on all that would change as a result.

I know there will be no more daily phone calls to accompany me on my drive home from work.
I know she will not be there on the day I get married -- not even to pull up my zipper, fluff my veil and tell me how lovely I look.
I know that I will have to figure out how to make the Thanksgiving Turkey this year.
I know that Mother's day will never be the same again, nor will any of the special days.

What I did not know was how the slightest sound, incident or interaction would remind me of her in ways that are inescapable.
I did not know how much havoc inheriting 2 sweet, adorable and loving dogs would wreak.
I did not know how much my mother is ingrained in every fiber of who I am.

We talked daily. Not always because I wanted to, but because it was what we did. Now I ache for the sound of her voice. I hear the phone ring and I check caller ID to see if it is her. I hear all the times she told me to be nicer or more patient with her, as "I will not be around forever."

Ken came into the room the other night and announced, "Mom called." Without skipping a beat, I replied, "Which one?" I know this is the start of what I have been told will be a difficult year. I just wish that my Mommy as around to make it seem not quite as bad (Mommies can do that ya know?).

I do not mean to depress or annoy anyone with these posts, but I somehow feel that if I can purge it, someone will get to know who she was and maybe, just maybe, I will not hurt so much inside. Thanks for your patience.

A mass email for all

2006-08-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

It is with the heaviest heart that I write this note, and with the deepest condolences I share the news that on Saturday night, August 19, Leni Kaltman, aka UWhoLuLu, aka SnickerLu, passed away.

My mother suffered a heart attack on August 12, and waged a valient battle to stay with us here. Her heart, while always full of love and care for others, just was not strong enough to win the war this time. Most of you knew her to be a strong woman -- either by first hand knowledge, or by way of stories we have shared, and most of you know how long she has fought these battles, both physical and emotional.

I must share with you all that she was a woman of care and giving with a capacity to love like no other person I know. If she touched your life in any way, please take that touch onward and remember her always as the loving woman she was.

Her life was not one of ease, so I pray, and ask you to join me, that her journey going forward is one of smoothness.

As she would hate to see us all crying, I ask that you remember her with a smile and celebrate the good she did and the person she was - not perfect by any means, but completely giving in so many ways.

I will be in contact with some of you personally over the next few days. If you need anything or if I can help make this a smoother transition for you, please do not hesitate to email me. I will do whatever I can, as she would have.

I loved my Mom VERY much and have a huge hole in my heart right now. But her spirit and her love will fill that hole with time -- of that I am confident.

Please share this news at will; I am sure she touched many more lives than I have contact information for.

With sincerest condolences for all,
Amy Kaltman

The adventure continues

2006-08-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

As with everything, the third day was the worst. When I got to the hospital on Thursday, Mom had had a rough night the night before, and was barely "stable." I am willing to say that is when I finally had my first of what I am sure are and will be many "meltdowns."

Yesterday, however, was a much better day. They are slowly weaning Mom off of all the medications that are making her heart work to keep her blood pressure up. Her blood pressure is finally staying good on its own, and there is slight humming today about possibly removing the balloon from her heart. Currently, the balloon is pumping her heart for her to give her body a chance to rest and recover. Once that is out and she is stable, they will start talking about waking her slowly from the sedation and eventually removing the ventilator that is breathing for her.

I have seen my mom sick a LOT over the years, but this is a whole new ball of wax. She has been in a drug induced sleep for nearly a week, and while I know it is medically induced and controlled, it is still hard to see. I go visit and rub her feet and hands, and stroke her face like she has so lovingly stroked mine, and I talk to her in the hopes that she will know I am there.

There are people who sit in the waiting room hour after hour after hour, waiting for thier five minutes to visit. I simply cannot do that. I go visit for a few hours in the morning, which usually gets me 3 good visits with Mom, and then I go back in the afternoon for a couple of hours and then again in the evening for a final visit of the day. The hospital is kind of out of the way, so there is a lot of driving going on, and they rape you in the parking garage, but it will all be worth it when she opens her eyes and looks at me.

I am off to the hospital, have a great day everyone.

UPDATE -- long

2006-08-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

They say it is darkest before the dawn. The dawn better come quick!

After a minor fender bender on Monday (I am fine, I promise) I got a call from a friend of my Mom's telling me that she was being transferred to a different hospital for emergency surgery. NOT True! I finally go hold of her, and yes she was being transferred, but it was for the angiogram.

I called the hospital when the test was scheduled to be over, and was greeted on the phone by the cardiologist informing me that there was SEVERE blockage and he was trying to get her in for surgery that night! Ken and I sprung into action and in less than an hour, we were on the road (in my rental car! -- silver lining).

We pulled into the hospital at about 8:30, spent a couple of hours with a VERY scared Amy's Mom and then crashed only to be back at the hospital at 6:00 AM prior to open heart surgery on Tuesday morning.
Mom and I had a great talk before she went -- said all sorts of mushy stuff, but mostly encouraged her to make sure her happy ass was around for the wedding. Off she went.

I was amazed that through it all she kept cracking jokes and making innuendos to the anesthesiologist. Only my mom!

Nearly 7 hours later, Mom came out from triple bypass surgery OK and is currently being kept sedated while they let her heart and body rest and gain strength. I get to see her in 5 minute intervals every hour. They have repeatedly told me what a long haul she is in for.

Your loving thoughts and caring words mean the world to me -- as I am sure it is going to be a long road ahead. I will keep you all informed.

I did not throw down the challenge

2006-08-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last two weeks at doctors offices and and kind of keeping my head straight so as not to get too overwhelmed with the idea of surgery. After visits with 3 doctors, I have 3 different plans of action, and MY doc finally gets back into town tomorrow.

So I have kept myself busy and whatnot. Reading the blogs of my friends and finishing up wedding details and just keeping busy -- so as not to perseverate.

Well, I know better than to challenge the Gods with a "things can't get any worse statement," so the words have not left my lips. They decided, however, to show me how much worse anyway.

Saturday night, my mom had a heart attack. We do not know how bad, or any other details, because after an entire day in the ER on Sunday, she still has not seen the cardiologist. She is in the hospital now and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. There should be an angiogram today, and hopefully we will have some answers.

In the meantime, she will miss my shower on Saturday and she is VERY upset about that. Her absence will definitely be felt. Adding insult to injury, I am not sure I can travel right now to go to her. I am waiting to talk to the doctor tomorrow on my end, so I can make informed decisions.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, please.

which one of these things...?

2006-08-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

wedding dress
cake tasting
invitations
amazing groom
Mother of the Bride Dresses
ovarian cyst and probable surgery
thank you notes
bridal showers
traveling guests
Jamaican Honeymoon

"which one of these things is not like the others?" TODAY SUCKS

What have we come to???

2006-07-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article about a new city ordinance in lovely Las Vegas that makes it ILLEGAL to FEED HOMELESS people in the parks. Are you kidding me!? Illegal to help someone? Illegal to have a humanitarian bone in one's body? These are not animals, they are people. Living, breathing, HUMAN BEINGS! I am disgusted with the powers that be that would actually allow this to be put into effect.

I understand that if you feed them at certain parks, that is where they may congregate. I understand wanting them to utilize community resources. But ya know what? These are people with no home, no place to live and sometimes no ability to access those resources. If they choose not to access the resources, that is their choice, just as it is the people feeding them's choice to do just that.

What, is it, "do things our way or starve?" That is such unadulterated bullshit.

Oh! By the way, the story I was reading was about a woman who refuses to stop feeding them and has been handed over $500 in fines.

Then there are stories like THIS that give me hope. There need to be more of these stories than the other. I'm done.

Did you hear...?

2006-07-24T06:58:00.000-07:00

Jennifer and Brad, Brad and Angelina, Jennifer and Vince, Jessica and Nick, Heather and Richie... blah blah blah....

As a purveyor of pop culture and all things entertainment, I tend to pay attention to the headlines and captions above every article and below every picture that has to do with those that most refer to as the beautiful people. My question is why?

First of all, why is it that the headlines and pictures are there in the first place. What is it about these people that makes us so hungry for information about them? I mean, really. They are human beings living their lives, just like you and me -- well, with the exception of their paycheck stubs.

Second of all, why are we (am I) reading all of this stuff. I am so over reading about the marriage woes of these people. It makes me sad that as "role models" they jump into and out of relationships as if none of it meant a thing. I am sick of reading about adulterous affairs that serve to thrust people further into the spotlight rather than make them fall from graces. Who's sleeping with whom, who is anorexic, who has had work done. The list goes on and on.

I cannot say that I will not read the stuff anymore, it is kind of like a car wreck -- you just cannot look away. But these are the thoughts I felt like sharing today.

And who cares about Suri Cruise anyway!

A limp what!?!?!

2006-07-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

So we are at the gas station the other day and I look around, checking out my surroundings (I tend to do that) when I look up and notice the palm tree in the corner of the parking lot. Now mind you, this is no small, itty bitty palm tree. No, it is a TALL, LONG, LANKY palm tree. You know, the ones that they have to use crane like thingies to raise the trimmers up to it. Well, not for this tree. It was bent in half. Not broken, not cracked, not anything, just kind of slouched over bent in half. (My guess is trimming will be easy for this one.) It reminded me very much of a limp... (insert joke here)

Now, I think that the tree is an anomaly, not something I think I will see again. WRONG! Yesterday, coming home from a LONG ASS WEEKEND, I see another one down the street from the first. I thought it might be a mirage or something, but when I left for work this morning, I looked again. Sure enough... A limp...

Do they make Viagra for palm trees?

Negative Nelly

2006-07-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention lately that I have been extremely negative. Time for a change. I see so easily how things are positive for others, but somehow get caught up in the ugh-factor of my own life. It kind of goes back to a few entries ago -- you can stand up better for other people's needs than for your own. I think the same is true here -- easier to see how there is a silver lining for others than for myself. I am thinking it is time to work on that. Happier posting to follow :-)

On a plus note: Jimmy met with his oncologist today and the initial diagnosis was wrong -- looks like it is cancer, but in the esophugus and tummy only. I know that is a lot, but the doc thinks he can remove the cancer surgically and treat with radiation to kill it for good. This is a MUCH better prognosis that original! Yay Jimmy!!!!

For the record...

2006-07-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

I would like to say, for the record, that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

My feet hurt -- plantar fasciaitus, mortons neuroma and falling arches, do not a good combo make. Birkenstocks might be a great solution, if my feet can ever be in enough no-pain to tolerate the break in period. I had a cortisone shot 4 months ago, and it seems I am ready for another, already. Seems that I am not alone, though -- my HMO cannot get me in to the podiatrist until AUGUST 8! Wish me and me feet luck making it that long. This is not something I want to chance at the urgent care, so I am toughing it out as best I can.

Hack hack... I am fighting the same upper respiratory infection I have had 6 times since October. Starts in my chest, moves to throat, then to face an back to the chest. All the while, my energy level is zapped and I sound like I smoke 4 packs a day -- charming. The doc said to just "take necessary precautions." I had to laugh. He told me this on the backside of reminding me that as a person with Lupus, my immune system is compromised, and it is worsened by the meds for keeping the Lupus in check, and that I will catch whatever is flying around -- this just happens to be a bad year. Fat lot of good that did me -- as I missed two days of work this week. I am so not a happy camper.

So here I sit with painful feet, a raspy voice and ribs that hurt from the incessant hacking. Enough already -- enough!

There, now that I have that off my chest, back to our regular programming.

Yin for Yang

2006-07-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

It seems that there are balances in life. Good news is typically followed by bad, and bad news is often followed by good ( A silver lining as it were.)

First the bad news - Sad news... I have a very dear old friend; Jimmy. One of the purest hearts you could meet -- not a pure man, but a pure heart if ever there was. He is a big ol' biker dude, and well, not someone you would generally rush to befriend if you were going on surface looks. However, look past the surface and he is a delicate flower with a wickedly funny sense of humor and a fantabulous vocabulary. To know Jimmy is to love him -- or like him at the very least. Well, Jimmy announced a few weeks ago that he has cancer -- esophogas and stomach. Silver lining, we thought, was that he was to have it removed surgically. VERY SAD NEWS: Friday he/we found out that it is Stage 4 fully metastasized cancer that has spread throughout his entire body. "Don't be sad," he said, "I am OK with this. I have lead a full life, loved a lot and had a few good dogs..." I cannot help but be sad, but I know that he will be a beacon of strength for all those that love him in the next however long we have to share with him. That is who Jimmy is.

Now the good news (though it pales in comparison): Went to the grand opening of LOVE (Beatles and Cirque du soliel combined) on Friday night. It was a show about love, peace and the opportunity to build a peaceful and loving world. Fabulous sets, music and costumes -- everything Cirque is known for. I TOTALLY want to see it again.

Much prefer the good news to the bad. CANCER SUCKS!

"I Like to Edit..."

2006-06-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

My new boss started last week, and it has been interesting to date. But she said something to me the other day that I cannot stop thinking about. So I asked her about it yesterday.

Upon looking over a tracking log that I have for my own use, nothing that anyone else sees, she pulled out a red pen and started making notes of things she wants me to change and such with the simple statement, "Oh yea, I like to edit."

We will ignore the fact that this is my own thing that I use as a tool for work that comes later in the year, and if full of little triggers for me to remember to include items in a year end evaluation of our program.

When I asked her about the comment, "Do you edit for content, or for the sake of editing?"

Her response further stuck in my craw... "I do it for style, my style. Not everyone writes in my style, so I edit to match my style."

If you want it in your style, then get off your hind end and write it yourself. If I am writing it, then it is my style... And as long as it covers all the topics, is clear, concise and professional, then LEAVE MY WRITING ALONE! One of the reasons I have my job is that I am a good writer (not necessarily in all venues). I am known for being a writer. My last couple of bosses took 3 years to hone my skill to fit my job, I have it down pat and I am damned good at it. Writing is my "thing".

DO NOT TOUCH MY WRITING to suit your own ego...

Is there any way to say that and not get my ass fired?

What's good for the goose...

2006-06-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

Do you ever notice that you hold people to higher standards for the way they treat your loved ones than for the way they treat you? Not sure if I am wording that right, but I am finding that my tolerance level for people treating people I love badly is much lower than for those treating me badly.

If someone looks at Ken, Teri or my Mom sideways, I get ticked off. I may not do anything but bitch about it, but it definitely ticks me off. When Ken's friends do not return his calls, or when someone takes Teri for granted (myself included), or if someone hurts my mom's feelings, I am just fit to be tied, to the point that I lose sleep over it. But myself, heck -- walk on me, trample on me and abuse my niceness.

I think this is the case for people in general -- and I think it goes for more things than just this. Teri is the most supportive, loyal and optimistic person I know when it comes to other people. If she thinks someone needs help, she is the first one in line to help -- in any way possible. But for herself, she will find the reason not to spend the money on herself, not to ask for help, or... You get my point. I have come to believe this is human nature -- OK to offer help, but not OK to accept help, OK to take care of others, but not OK to be taken care of.

Weird! I tell you, we are weird!

Good bye yellow brick road

2006-06-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like the world is moving along and leaving you behind, like everyone is in Oz and you are left behind in Kansas?

In the past year more than half a dozen of my friends have moved away from Vegas on to other stages of their lives. As if Vegas is just a stage. But you know what I mean... And now it appears another is getting ready to fly the coop.

While I am thrilled with my life these days and realize that I am indeed moving forward, it just feels like I am standing still while all these things happen around me.

Why is it that we are never satisfied with our own lives? I feel kind of like keeping up with the Joneses has taken on a new face in this day and age. It is no longer about the nicer car or house -- but at this stage in my life it has become about the better family, the better job, the better circle of friends (which I am the winner!).

I am not complaining by any means, just musing about how our perception changes as we mature.

Smooth Moves

2006-06-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

I decided to make a smoothie this morning, sweet and yummy and full of vitamins -- and easy to make.

I started with the recipe from the back of the bag o' frozen fruit. And promptly changed it. I doubled the fruit, or did I? I added the ice, for good measure, just an extra cube. Add the splash of apple juice and Voi la! A smoothie is born... NOT!

First there was a burning smell from the motor of the blender. So I shook it a bit, hoping to dislodge the piece of ice that was apparently stuck. That worked for about a nanosecond. Then I turned it off, then on, then off, then on. You get the idea. Took a while, but long story short ... I ended up adding a lot more apple juice, and finished with a LOT of very sweet smoothie; enough for me and Ken to each have some.

Then I was cleaning up, I asked Ken for his help. "Honey, can you please climb onto the kitchen counter and wipe the smoothie off of the cabinets and the wall above the window?"

"Umm, sure." ( I love him! He asked no questions!) Clean and good to go.

Please note, gentle reader: Do not EVER stick a knife into a blender while it is on and the lid is off.

Instant Gratification

2006-06-09T07:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but my instant gratification muscle needs to be flexed. As in I need to work on not needing instant gratification quite so much. I am learning , regularly, that good things are worth waiting for.
I waited an eternity, and got KEN!
It took me a few extra years, but I got a college education and learned a lot.
I lived in my house for 7 years before I was able to do it up the way I wanted to, but it looked great.

Most recently -- I put in a bunch of extra time at work about a month and a half ago. Worked late nights and 2 straight weekends. Well, it paid off -- literally. Yesterday, I got a bonus! Nice, huh?

So if I know all this, in my head, then why is it that I still have the patience of a tstsi fly? There have been small delays on the pool, but it should still be done a good 4 weeks ahead of original schedule. You would think I would be cool. NOPE! I am tied up in knots over it. I want it NOW!

We are looking for a landscaper. Had one guy come out yesterday to bid the job. I am so not wanting to get any other bids. I like this guy, we know he does good work, he came recommended and his prices, from what we know, are pretty darned competitive. I want to just go with him, rather than shop it and put it off any longer than we have to.

The list goes on and on... I want to be married a month ago, not 4 months from now, I want to lose weight as soon as I even think about it, not 3-6 months down the line, blah blah blah.

But my mom always said, and she is right, that when you rush into something, you usually do not do it as good as you could or something goes wrong -- inevitably.

I really need to work that muscle...

Inertia

2006-06-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

I need to get going to work today, but do not want to do it. MOVE I tell myself.
I need to start walking and exercising, but do not want to do it. MOVE I tell myself.
I need to start dieting more effectively, but do not want to do it. MOVE I tell myself.
I need to finish the laundry, but do not want to do it. MOVE I tell myself.
I need to go get the steak for tonight marinating, but do not want to do it. MOVE I tell myself.

Why is it that even when we know that we MUST do something, and we know HOW to do it, there are times (seemingly eternities) when we just cannot or do not want to do it??? ANd how do you get past that???

Sausage casing

2006-05-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

Is it me, or is there something about a bathing suit that makes even the trimmest of women feel like we are being stuffed into sausage casing. Boys get to wear the equivalent of shorts into the pool, but as women, we are relegated to squeezing into tight spandex that reveals our every bump -- and what we had for lunch to boot.

Men don't have to shave "down there" to be presentable on the beach or by a pool. But Oh my God... have you ever forgotten to shave before a last minute dip in the pool. Talk about feeling the eyes of God watching you.

Anyway, as we are rapidly entering bathing suit season, and I am forced to shop for a bathing suit (our new pool will be done within the next 7 days) I am reminded of the horrific inequality of it all and was overwhelmed by the need to vent. Please feel free to join in!

But on a side note, have you seen the new Old Navy Madras Plaid commercial. LOVE it! Their last one with the striped shirt ( I think) was great too. Whomever is doing these ads is fabulous and should be given the highest praise for saving us from another season of Morgan Fairchild Old Navy Melo-dramas.

Pack rats of the world unite!

2006-05-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

I spent 8 hours today cleaning out a closet. A closet -- 8 hours! I am officially admitting that I am a pack rat. But I am also publicly announcing that I am a recovering pack rat. No more will I do this. I had no less than 4 white t-shirts with stains!!! Stains, I tell you, and I kept them anyway for who knows how many years. What makes us do this and Lora, my dear friend Lora... How do you stop!?

Cut off their thumbs!

2006-04-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Since opposable thumbs are supposedly what separate us from the "animals", I have decided I agree with our Mayor Goodman, and that anyone caught doing graffiti should have their thumbs cut off!

Driving down the highway yesterday I was appalled, angered an dismayed by the amount of scrawling, paint and sheer volume of "tags". As part of the expansion on the 95, sound barrier walls are being put up. Not just any walls either. They are textured, painted and almost pretty. Well, on one section, a NEW section, there was about a 100 foot area that was scribbled on, painted and vandalized. I doubt the paint from the expansion was even dry yet before this was done.

I keep trying to understand this. It is not art by any means. It is just tagging. Initials, letters and such. What about creating a graffiti park? That was an idea I had. A park full of walls like dominos, whose purpose was to be marked, painted and tagged. But then, I figured that would take away the challenge and vandalism aspect, and basically hold no interest for these kids.

What I don't get is how they get away with it? This is a 24 hour town. People drive on that highway all the time. How is it that these kids (assuming that they are kids) have the time to do the painting with no one calling the cops or catching them. Some of them, you can tell are done on offramps where they probably hop out of the car at the red light and then hop back in when the light is green. BUT, what about the ones that you KNOW took time and are on the middle of a wall?

They lock up spray paint in the store, but I wonder how much that does for us? Do they ever refuse to sell it to anyone? I mean really, come on. What is next -- stop selling it all together?

I could rant on this for days, I am so infuriated by it. But for now, I will leave it to you to add comment.

Too Good to Not Share

2006-04-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

There IS truth in some advertising...
Click here

Tick Tock

2006-04-07T06:07:00.000-07:00

Was at work until 10 pm last night finishing "the project" and all I can say is that my cover may be blown for ability, but it is also shown in willingness to do what it takes to get the job done. Hopefully one will outweigh the other.
Celebrated one year with Ken this weekend-- one year! Where does the time go!?
Walk through on the house is in 2 weeks -- seems to me like there is a lot still to be done before it is ready for that, but it really is a full blown house -- complete with driveway and landscaping!
Going to DC for the first time in two weeks, alone. Not sure how I got to be an adult enough that I am being sent across the country on my own on my company's dime.
Up super early so I can have breakfast with my Teri -- otherwise we will not see each other for what would be two weeks! That is so totally NOT OK. Does everyone have a friend like that? Not one that they need to see to keep the friendship going, but that they WANT to see to be reminded of how great the friendship IS.
Janell had her baby! I cannot believe it has been nine months already. Yay Janell.
Made plans yesterday to bring Mom in for Mother's Day and see the house... Let the games begin -- carpet, cable, pack, appliances, move, WELCOME!

WHERE DOES THE TIME GO!?

Cover is blown, or is it?

2006-03-28T22:27:00.000-08:00

How many of you wake up every day and say, "Today is the day they are going to figure out that I am not what they think I am, not as good as they think I am, and not worth what they think I am"?

I swear to you that my days are numbered and it is a matter of time before they figure out that I am a fraud at work. I am telling you. My boss quit about a month and a half ago, and since then, the pressure has been on. Now, I am not saying that I am not up for the challenge; I am saying that I do not want to be. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a slacker in yuppie's clothing.

My old boss was a work horse. She seriously looked at us as support staff. She was all too happy to do the big stuff and let me do the background items to help complete the package. All the while, she bolstered me, talked me up to others and basically helped me carry on my charade. But she is gone now, and it is all I can do to focus at work, at all. I have no boss, no direction and I simply do not want to be there.

Why is it that with a boss it is easy to focus and get things done, but the minute I am left to my own devices... well, I can't. Or simply don't.

Right now I am working on a project that could seriously take me places at work -- yet all I can do is think about bridesmaid dresses, color swatches and how long it will take before they figure me out, and my cover is blown!

Happy Birthday!

2006-03-22T06:22:00.000-08:00

Today is Ken's birthday. I mention this because it was only a year ago that we started talking via the internet. Actually, it was shortly before his birthday. I know this, because I distinctly remember his telling me in a letter shortly after his birthday that he had gone out celebrating. I was bummed not to have known it was a special day beforehand, not that I could have done anything, but because I guess I like to think I might have done something. Anyway, I digress. It was only a year ago, and now I get to celebrate his birthday this year, and all the rest to come!

Today is Ken's birthday, and I feel like I am the one getting the presents. He is such a gift. With every day I get to unwrap another layer of this man and learn more about the intricacies that make so wonderful -- a silly face, a wise word, a thoughtful action. Whatever it is, it is part of what makes him so special.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

WHAT!?!?

2006-03-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

Can someone PLEASE explain to me how in the name of God's green earth Kevin Covias escaped being in the bottom three on American Idol last night? I mean I am having serious flashbacks to the election of 2004, when no one wanted Bush in office, and yet somehow, miraculously, he ended up our president for a second term! Don't get me wrong, the kid is cute and he can sing, sort of. But there is NO WAY he is an American Idol. This is worse than when the girl from Utah, Carmen (affectionately known as Goat Girl) made it to the final 4 a couple of years ago. Augh!

Now, if someone could also tell me what it is about this show that gets me this passionate, I would be appreciative. When they called Ace's name, I nearly threw something at the TV.

Come on people, voting for this stuff, apparently, counts. I think. Maybe.

19 hours

2006-03-03T23:31:00.000-08:00

The first of what I am guessing will be many trips to India is nearly over for Ken. He is safely en route home and will be here in just over 19 hours. Silly to be counting it down, but ya know, I am a silly kind of gal! Once he is back home, I am sure I will take a deep sigh of relief. Until then, Tylenol PM is my friend.

That, and I think I will channel two of my favorite friends and be a cleaning machine. Actually, come to think of it, all four of my bridesmaids -- 4 of my nearest and dearest are clean freaks. I am the token slob. Hmmmm.. .What does that say?

Oh well, I guess every group has to have one of me -- the token silly, messy, funny, lovable one. I am ok with that. But more OK with Ken coming home. Yay, Ken!

Oh ya, watched "Crash" tonight. Oh My God! It was intense, poingant and amazing ensemble work. AND, I totally get why Matt Dillon got the Oscar nod. Hmmm, tough race this year.

US or Foreign Ports?

2006-02-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

Hi all-- Too long since my last post, and so much to tell. There is the general update to give, but more importantly, I am having an issue with something that could effect us all, so I thought I would ask for input...

The whole Port Authority thing really has me battling internally. I hate to be a sheep and blindly follow, so here is my issue.

I think it is CRAZY that would we even consider allowing the United Arab Nations to have anything to do with controlling our US, US as in United States, ports. I mean, really, do we have "screw me" on our foreheads? What the hell is Bush thinking? We do not have enough interests in the Middle East? There are not enough "things" that belong to Americans in the hands of so many others in foreign lands. Oh, and by "things" I meant people, as in the thousands upon thousands of our soldiers. Just in case anyone forgot -- they are all over in the middle east.

Now, here comes the doubting Thomas in me. I was listening to Colin Powell last night, and he explained that the ports have been controlled by British hands for years, but they have recently pulled out, and that the new business partner stepping forward just happens to be from the Middle East. Just a coincidence -- no, really. And that the reason for the 45 day hold is to give people a chance to calm down and really sit back and review things to make sure we don't do something stupid. This all makes sense -- I mean, if it has been in foreign hands all along, then why the hoopla now?

My issues is this -- is it bad that we are in bed with the Arabs, or is it worse that it has been in foreign hands all along, but we are just now getting pissy because of who the new partner is? Hmmm... I am sure there is more information to be had, but this is my first go at it. Feedback is welcomed!

No dilemma, no time

2006-02-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

It has been far too long since I have posted anything on this blog, so I figured I better get to it. The only thing is that I have no real quandaries in my life right now to share. Nothing to ask advice on, and nothing that demands writing about. Ken has updated on the stage of our house in his blog. (It really is cool, though to watch the house go up!) Work is crazy with all the audits and site visits pending and studies due and my boss leaving, but I am on a straight course for that.

I know! Here is one for you all... I am constantly late, "10 minutes late is part of my charm" can often be heard coming from my mouth. I have done everything I can think of to not be this way -- to the point that no two clocks in my house are set the same, so I never know really what time it is, only that they are all a little fast. STILL, I get caught up in all sorts of nonsense, on the phone, or having mini meltdowns over what to wear, etc., and end up running late. I can pull it off sometimes, but nearly often enough, and poor Ken is caught in it too. He is punctual as can be, so I hate that my bad habits end up effecting him. Ack! I am thinking this is one that I will have to work on for a long time... Any suggestions?

Oops!

2006-01-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

Someone forgot to tell me that I do not handle change very well. In fact, someone, not sure who, let me think I am a pro at change and would be just fine with whatever came my way.

For the record, they were WRONG! Change is tough, uncomfortable and constant. In the last week, I have had 3 cats and my fiance move into what was my house, but is now ours. In no way do I question the decisions we have made or continue to make, but I do question my sanity at times.

Not having had a pet for the last 10 years, it is taking a lot of adjusting to get used to all the noises, hair and smells of an animal -- even if they are too cute and sweet for words.

Living alone for the last 10 years was more defining of me as a person that I thought. Coming home to someone at the end of the day, while exhilarating and wonderful, is also a big change.

BUT: the plus side of all of it is that it is all working out. I had a melt down on Friday morning and I learned a lot from it. Since Ken and I are great communicators, it is working out that we have dialogue and clear it all up before it festers. And at the end of the day, I get to end each day with him, and that makes me happy.

We are not running back and forth between Henderson and the NW as much, and as a result, we even found time for the gym. No kicking and screaming from me either. I figure I get to watch Ken work out and that makes me smile, and I get to burn off a bunch of tension and stress while getting ready to fit into a wedding dress.

All's well that ends well... All's well here! So while I may not do change very well, who does?

Luck would have it (this is long)

2006-01-15T16:33:00.000-08:00

So my birthday was Friday. Yes, this past Friday, Friday the 13th. One might think that would be bad luck. Let me be the first to tell you, that you could not be further from the truth. I have now joined the ranks of Loo, Karl and Teri and am sitting pretty at 35. While a little daunting at being that much closer to 40, I have come to accept that it is not such a bad thing, and that I am going to have a fabulous year.

This year was my first with Ken, or anyone even remotely like Ken, so I did not have any idea what I was in for. I did know, however, that it would be special.

My day started with breakfast with Teri and Ken, two of my most favoritest people, at Einstein's for bagels. Then I went to work where I was greeted with a gift from my boss, on my desk, and a few birthday cards. Next came the first big surprise of the day. Ken sent me flowers. There is nothing quite getting a call to come to the front desk for a delivery. Everyone looks at you like you are special and wants to know who loves you enough to send them. The bouquet was beautiful and special and I loved it. When I came back to my desk with the flowers, I was greeted by a homemade birthday cake from my friend Renee.

Surprise number TWO! Just as I was sitting back down to actually work, I got another call from the front desk. Low and behold, there were MORE flowers for me. My Mom sent me a wonderful bouquet of daisies. I grew up with daisies around, as they were Mom's favorite, so having them on my desk brought me a little bit of her into my day. Well, a little bit more of her. She sent out an email to everyone under the sun asking them to wish me happy birthday wishes. Forty-semodd emails later... It was clear, my mom has a lot of friends and they all care about her very much. Enough to send me a note or e-card. Mom was definitely here in spirit.

Anyway, I had lunch with some very good friends and co-workers, then came back to finish my day and rush home to see Ken again. My birthday card from him was waiting on my keyboard, and it was followed by my gift. Ken was very generous, and gave me an iPod Nano! Now all I have to do is find the time to download the software and start playing! That was followed up by urging me to get ready to go out for a special evening.

Again, I had no idea what was in store for me. All I can tell you is that if you ever have the opportunity, PLEASE TAKE IT and go to Hugo's Cellar at the 4 Queens in downtown Vegas. The ambiance alone was worth the price of admission (so to speak). The food was lovely, the service was outstanding and the red rose was just the perfect touch! We finished the evening by stopping at our dirt, which is now our foundation -- we have a concrete slab!

I had no idea how nice it could be to be so spoiled by someone like Ken. It was definitely a LUCKY day for me. ( I will fill you in on Saturday's party next time. It is bound to get boring hearing how deleriously happy I really am!)

Opinions

2006-01-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

Stolen from Kyria...

10 reasons Gay Marriage is wrong:
1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

'Nuff said

And the Beat Goes On

2006-01-07T16:53:00.000-08:00

I am not really sure what to write about these days. There is so very much going on, that it is tough to know where to start. I suppose I could follow Ken's lead and just do a rattling of random thoughts.

Work is crazy. we are heading into a very busy time on a project I have been working on for over a year. We hit the "send" button in 3 weeks and the pressure is on. I feel like a total slacker most of the time, doing things I should not be doing at work and so on (no, nothing lurid) But nonetheless, I get emails from my boss thanking me for various things, like doing my job! It makes me feel guilty, but then again, maybe I just expect more of me than she does?

Ken is starting movements of moving into my house, now affectionately called the Durango House. His house will be going on the market next weekend, and he will start moving in. In preparation for this, his two cats, and Dave's cat too, will be taking up residence in my house by middle of this week. I love the cats, and I love the guys (Ken most of all), but I can safely say I am a little freaked about this. I have not had a pet in my home for more than 11 years. I am more than a little unnerved at the thought of all the cat hair and litter box stuff. I made Ken promise to keep me well supplied in lint rollers. Can you ever have enough lint rollers?

Wedding plans are moving along, but to read about that, you will have to go to the For Better or For Worse Blog.

Our house is coming along nicely as well. They broke ground 2 weeks early. It was the coolest thing to go by and see the lot all trenched. you can tell where the showers, toilets and sinks will be. You can stand in front of the "kitchen sink" and see what is what. It really is cool. we even have an appointment this week to go look at a 3-d drawing of our pool in the backyard. Apparently the pool guy has nifty software that will allow us to see what it will all look like when it is done. I am hoping that will put my mind at reast over the idea of a pool vs. an oversized bathtub.

OK, I am done for now... I am sure there is more to come.

A new leaf

2005-12-31T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well, for the first time in more years than I care to acknowledge, I am not in a hurry to see this year end. 2005 has been fabulous to me, and the biggest saving grace to its coming to an end is the fact that 2006 promises to be even better, if not busier.

My sincerest hope for everyone is that there is more health, more laughter and more joy to go around. That the problems of the past remain there and that the adventures of tomorrow greet us daily with a smile.

I am looking forward to a year of moving (in with Ken at my place and then into our new home together), shaking (breaking ground on the new house, building the pool and kicking ass on the NCQA audit), wheeling (to LA for visits with my mom and friends and off on jaunts with Ken) and dealing (with all the changes that are rapid fire among us).

Thanks to all who read my blog, making comment or not, and to all those that are a part of what makes my little world go around. May 2006 be fruitful for us all!

Men will be boys...

2005-12-23T21:23:00.000-08:00

So here is a basic question I post to all men, and well, women can answer based upon their experiences:

Just how sick does a woman, girlfriend, fiancee, wife have to be for her man to not try to put the moves on her, in some way shape or form? I am getting varied answers from non-bloggers, but I am curious from our little group.

So far, I think "vomiting" has been the number one answer. Your turns.

Tag --I'm it

2005-12-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

In a twist of virus induced dementia, Lora has tagged me. Hmph!

5 weird things about myself:

Through a majority of the 90's I had an unexplainable crush on Michael Bolton. Saw him in concert 15 times!
I have a complete fascination with everything Academy Awards, try to see all the big films before the big night, turn the phone off as soon as the red carpet starts and remain entranced for the duration.
Love making up my own words, "prettyful", "beautius", "ephalant" and well, just lots of Amy-isms. But my favorite word of all time is twitterpated -- not mine, I know, but I love it nonetheless.
I was a championship bowler in my younger days -- went to the State finals a few times and was being courted by a coach who wanted to work me into the pros when I had to stop. I threw a freakishly heavy 16 pound ball, at the age of 13.
I am completely incapable of keeping the inside of my car or trunk empty or clean for any duration. No matter what is happening, I look like I am living out of my car. ( I really need to work on that).

Now, with all that said, I have only one person to tag that I know reads my Blog on any kind of regular basis... TERI, Oh! and Lloyd. Go to it kids :-)

Oh how it sparkles

2005-12-15T06:29:00.000-08:00

I GOT MY SPARKLY RING!!!!! Ken picked a beautiful setting, classic, simple and elegant with a bit of flare. And I swear the light dances in the diamond. But the real diamond is him. I am truely fortunate and apparently a wee bit spoiled. Picture to be posted soon.

Come on in, the water's fine

2005-12-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

Another day, another decision made... After work last night we went to the pool place, Sundance Pool and Spa, to start working on the design and such for the pool for our new home. At first I was not excited about this. It is the middle of the holiday season, I had cards to write and things to do, and this just did not seem like it was of the utmost importance. Well, I was WRONG.

We ended up combining the first two appointments into one, and not only did we get to tell the design guy what we wanted in a pool, but we got to be a part of designing it. We said, " how about a curve here?" "how about some length there?" We took a very active role in designing the pool. THAT was cool. AND, the guy said it was good we came in now, cause prices go up after the first of the year. Dodged that bullet nicely.

One feature we put in was something called a "wet deck". The first step, only 6 inches deep, goes out about 3-5 feet. Long enough for a chaise or a chair, to sit kind of in the water and keep ya cool and read a book. They are even putting a "hole" in for an umbrella to fit in. Ken and I both looked at eachother and laughed -- "yes Teri, that can be your spot."

Anyway, now that that is done, I can continue to marvel at all the things I have not finished doing yet -- wrapping gifts, shopping, sending out cards, oh yeah! and buying a tree...
HO HO Fricking HO.

Ahhhh, the Holidays

2005-12-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

Jiggle Bells... Things are moving at such a rushed pace these days. Between the wedding, the house, craziness at work and the pending holiday season, I am not sure how I am sitting still long enough to write this. Ken and I have been busily shopping. Well, I have been busily shopping. Though Ken has been there with me most of the time. I have finished with a majority of my stuff, only we have not sent out our Christmas Cards yet. I think we will put off doing the tree until tomorrow night and get the cards done and out tonight.

In the meantime, we had my office Christmas party on Friday night. It was lovely and everyone got to meet Ken, finally. It was nice. People said the nicest things to him about me. Made me feel really special. And I loved how easily Ken felt at ease with everyone. I did not have to babysit him or anything. He found people to talk to and kind of just held his own. Niiiiiiiiice.

We are planning for Christmas with Ken's folks, and my Mom is still trhying to figure a way to get here. I think her recently fractured pelvis might put an end to that dream. But on a plus side, we will celebrate Christmas at my birthday in January. It will give her some time to heal and such.

But I digress, my main purpose in writing this is to reflect on how happy I am this year and how amazed I am at what a difference this year has made. Ken is great, work is good, family is good, health is not horrible, and friends are firmly in place and fabulous. Ok... I am off to move on with my day -- my busy busy day.

Beautiful

2005-12-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to write about this for a while now, but just have not taken the time. When I sat down to blog this morning, it was the one thing that kept coming to my mind.

A couple weeks ago, Ken and I were driving to "our dirt" for a quick check to see how things were going. As we were heading down a street, getting ready to make a right hand turn, we were caught at a light. What I witnessed at that light was so beautiful. There was a man and a woman, both of them obviously physically handicapped. They were both on scooters, and the woman, if memory serves me correctly, was blind. She as hitched to his scooter and he helped her along as they crossed this very busy intersection and made their way along the road. It was obvious to me, not sure how, that these two people were together. Not just as friends, but linked, somehow inexorably. The way he turned to check on her, and her apparent complete trust in him to simply be tethered to him as they traversed traffic, or whatever may come at them. It really was quite a sight.

typically, I would have made nothing of it at all, I think. But on that day, in that moment, I found such beauty in what I saw, that I HAD to share it with you. NOTHING should get in the way of life, love and living! Now go out there and LIVE.